When You’re Feeling Off + Life Lately

It’s finally warm!

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Thank the Lord. It got up to a steamy 76*F on Tuesday!

HI. It’s been pretty quiet on Moves and Grooves lately, but it’s been a busy and weird couple of weeks. The weirdness was mostly attributed to me feeling very “off” in my faith life — prayer wasn’t the easiest, and I felt a lot of confusion, frustration, and guilt over some things in my life.

It’s not something I haven’t experienced before, but it’s always disorienting. However, I’ve learned to not depend on feelings or be driven by them all the time. This apples not only to matters of faith, but also matters of recovery, school, life in general. It makes sense (e.g. just because you don’t feel like sharing cake with your friend doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t), but feelings can be LOUD, so it’s good to remind ourselves that feelings are just feelings. We often need to follow what we know instead.

Know that God does not speak through confusion.

Know that God is infinitely loving and merciful.

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I’m not usually a pinterest quote person, but this Bible verse made it to my phone lock screen this week

And with God, every trial just yields more wisdom and peace. Holy Week has helped too! This year, it has been profound yet beautifully simple, and now we are all so ready for Easter 🙂

Let’s catch up though!! So much has been happening.

I went to my second spin class ever at Cyc with Christina (@foodietunes) last Wednesday. Once again, Sarah Gaines, founder of Fit University, taught the class and kicked. my. BUTT. My last spin/Cyc class was last year during Sarah’s first “tribe ride”!

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Christina texted me the night before:

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And so I dragged my butt out of bed to move my legs faster than they ever do, but I still couldn’t keep up with Sarah.

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I had squatted heavy for the first time in a long time THREE days before this class, and my quads were still crying by the warmup.

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Christina: “Can we pick you up?” // Sarah: “Not up here.”

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Thank you so much, Sarah, for a great class and for being an all-around inspirational gal!

After the Cyc class, I stopped by Whole Foods to get some yogurt, and this little fella was patiently waiting outside.

Corgis are my favorite kind of dog. They’re awkward, cute, and loyal. We need more men like that in the world.

Here are a couple solid dining hall meals I’ve eaten:

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breaded fish with seasoned rice and green beans

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empanadas on Latin night + salad

And I’ve been cookin’ up some fine things in the apartment as well!

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(from three weeks ago!) the last of the chicken + beans from the bomb enchiladas I made with cheese, avocado, and roasted brussels sprouts

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meatballs (actually, just mini muffin versions of this meatloaf), brown rice, cheese, and roasted paprika asparagus

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classics with a side of anatomy

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tomato, basil, feta, pepper, and olive oil

Last Sunday, Megan and I hosted “Assisi Night” for our Catholic friends. Essentially, it was an even that we made up because we’ve been obsessed with Assisi ever since we visited during our break while studying abroad. So we invited all our friends to hang out with us for an Italian food potluck, a movie about St. Francis and St. Clare, and good ol’ fellowship.

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the oddly large “T” is actually a tau sign, symbolic of the Franciscan order

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Dinner was complete with salad, caprese, focaccia, several kinds of pasta, and many desserts. Megan and I cooked most of it, but our friends came through with lots of delicious foods as well!

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this focaccia disappeared before the event started

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my attempt at cacio e pepe

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‘Twas such a fun night!!

Sunsets have been magnificent this week thanks to the clear blue skies.

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I wish I could go to a remote place so I could see stars too! (I’m asking for a lot, I’m sorry. I am very grateful for these sunsets.)

Exams, papers, projects, summer planning, etc. is all happening still. It’s a good kind of chaos.

I hope you all have a blessed Easter or just a joyful weekend! Eat lots of carbs for with me!

So tell me:

Do you ever have to ignore your feelings and go with what you know?

Two fun things you’ve done recently.

What are you doing this weekend!Easter and Marathon Monday, baby!

 

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Fasting and Feasting

He is risen!! He is risen indeed!

Happy Easter, friends! ♥︎

Phew, wow, I cannot tell you what’s going on inside of me right now, because you would have to physically shut me up (or pry my fingers from the keyboard in this case). Joy, gratitude, stress, fullness, tiredness.

Last week was a stressful week, but powering through the stress made the Holy Triduum and Easter all the sweeter.

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*Disclaimer: These next few paragraphs include content relating to fasting and restriction. Please take caution ♥︎ Those with mental disorders (including during recovery from eating disorders) are not required to fast from food.

In light of Good Friday (the day we commemorate Jesus’ death), I fasted from Thursday night until Saturday (not a full fast, just less food than usual). Obviously, it was challenging. The point of fasting in the Catholic Church is to feel hunger and weakness as our Lord did in His time of suffering for our sins, and to unite our (minor) sufferings with His.

When I fasted for the first time last year, I was in a more delicate place regarding my relationship with food. I was a lot more worrisome about making sure that I was eating enough but not more than I was supposed to. This year, fasting was 100% sacrifice mode for me. You don’t have to tell me twice to eat enough at this point in my life, so I didn’t have to worry about mixing up restriction with fasting at all.

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Although sacrifice is involved, we’re encouraged to be smart with fasting. I had a three hour class and then a campus tour on Friday, so I made sure I had just enough energy to get through those things. Fasting should not cause you to be utterly incapacitated nor make you feel super lightheaded/nauseated.

The most significant thing I noticed while fasting this year was that it was freeing to feel that hungry yet know that my hunger pangs were volitional not for restriction but for sacrifice. It empowers me to be okay with being very hungry sometimes, because I know the hunger doesn’t have to be connected to the intention of losing weight. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I was planning on doing a quasi-fast on Saturday, but I went out to lunch with my parents and family friends, and this happened:

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I couldn’t be rude and say no to their generosity and kindness….

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I also took— not one— but two naps on Saturday. They were both 20 minutes, so I don’t feel too bad.

The weather cleared up nicely by late afternoon, and I hadn’t moved and grooved in a while, so I did this workout (one of my favorites!) by the river.

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For whatever reason, I think my body produces a HECK of a lot of gas after I eat a big, fatty meal and then work out later that day. ‘Cause my GI tract was hurtin’ from after I worked out until much later that night. (It felt just like this day last summer!) The gas just stays inside of me and it feels like pins and needles are poking me from the inside out.

TMI, but welcome to the blog.

Saturday night involved the coolest Mass of the year—the Easter Vigil! Followed up by a late night Easter celebration, which commenced the FEASTING. It was also fun to wear makeup again 🙂

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I went to bed at 3 AM, haha. I got 6 hours of sleep that night, and now I’m typing this at midnight the night after. I’m so prudent with my life decisions.

Easter Sunday started with a 30 minute walk to brunch with the family + family friends!

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THIS PLACE. Dreams. Check it:

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apple donut holes for appetizer, because Easter

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cast iron skillet cornbread with honey butter *moment of silence*

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my entree: cornmeal crusted cod + mango salsa slaw sandwich on brioche

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also shared some of my mom’s “Breakfast Club” waffle sandwich (triple decker with fried chicken and fried egg + syrup for dipping)

Heart-stopping on so many levels. It was so wonderful seeing my family again too. Thank you for making the trip up here, Madre and Pop!

Then I went back to the dorm to do some homework (blah) before hanging out with friends from the Catholic Center and eating MORE.

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air saxophones

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WOMEN.

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radiant souls

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tradition ♥︎ 

It looks like it was warm outside, but it wasn’t. We sucked it up #ForThePics.

What a blessed day. I am at a loss for words except “Alleluia!”

The rest of the day involved me rushing to get in an assignment due at 5pm, mobile soup kitchen with my inspirational friends, and late dinner.

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spinach artichoke dip to share (we all burned the roofs of our mouths devouring this)

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arugula salad with golden raisins, candied walnuts, blue cheese, red onions, and Italian herb vinaigrette

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my aunt’s homemade zucchini bread with almond butter

Plus another cookie and more almond butter.

Thank you, family. Thank you, friends. Thank YOU for reading this and supporting me so lovingly. Thank you, Lord for your Death and Resurrection and Love beyond imagination.

Hope you all have a splendid Easter week!

So tell me:

Three things you did this weekend!

The best thing you ate this weekend!

Do you have any insights on fasting/feeling very hungry after having experienced an eating disorder?

Five Minute Friday #9: What Motivates Me

It’s Good Friday.

My three exams are finished for this week.

I’m strangely alert and amped up as I type this at 1:30 AM (a bunch of us were out doing a Holy Thursday procession around downtown Boston).

Here’s what got me through this week (and what gets me through every week, for that matter):

link to video here!

I’m definitely missing so much information that I wanted to tell you from this week, buuuuuut I should hit the hay.

*as I get distracted on Facebook*

If you’re celebrating Easter this weekend, I wish you a blessed and joyous one indeed. If not, I wish you a blessed and joyous weekend too!

So tell me:

What motivates you?

What are you doing this weekend? 

Anything in particular for Easter?