Working on sleep discipline + an overdue Christmas vlog!

pray.

I have come to the acceptance that I’m naturally a night owl, but I think it’s less of some hormonal / physiological thing and more of a vice…

People have said that going to sleep is like accepting that the next day is beginning, which can be daunting or undesirable for people who are tired and want to “rest” (i.e., do things besides the thing they are required to do the next day). Which is SO ME.

I know that I stay up too late on weekend nights doing things like learning Kyle Hanagami dances, watching Youtube videos of fitness/food influencers, or talking to friends. Anything but sleep and wind down. And then I complain of not getting enough sleep, at no one’s fault except my own (usually).

I made a resolution a while ago to be silent by 10pm, but I’ve become very lax with that, partially because I became lax with the accountability of it to my friend. Will be reinstating that now. But something that I keep thinking about is taking at least 60 seconds to check in with God when I am really tempted to open up a new tab on my browser at night… to just tell Him what I’m really feeling and what it is that I really want to do with my life at that point. Because no decision is isolated, and my decisions at night definitely affect the next day, and I would prefer to have healthy, productive days.

Working on it.

eat.

My brother and his gf brought over the new Korean chicken sandwiches for us to eat from Shake Shack yesterday, which were very tasty! I air fried some frozen curly fries on the side, which hit the SPOT. Few things beat a crispy, seasoned curly fry.

Made my own special sauce in the ramekin there: light mayo, ketchup, vidalia onion dressing mixed together

I became hypertensive for a short time after this meal, I’m sure.

move.

I did a fun running circuit workout last weekend. That’s right, I said FUN. It was 3 laps of running around the neighborhood (~1/2 to 3/4 mile each), followed by this circuit:

  • 10 pushup burpees
  • 15 pushups
  • 20 v-ups

Repeat with 2 laps + circuit, then 1 lap + circuit.

Was a chilly but lovely time.

groove.

I totally forgot to share this Christmas vlog that I filmed three weeks ago now… But in case you want to join me retroactively on my Christmas day festivities, please do!

https://youtu.be/bFjdzJc-Mq8

I hope your 2021 is going well (or as well as it can be) so far 🙂

So tell me:

Do you have trouble with sleep discipline?

Curly fries, regular fries, sweet potato fries, or tater tots??

“Alison, this year will be hard.”

“Alison, this year will be hard. But I will carry so much of the burden with you if you let Me. You will grow in so many ways, in more ways than just one. You are ready for it. I am with you always. It will be very good.”

I was prayer journaling on January 3, 2020, and these are the words I had in my heart that God was responding to me after I probably word-vomited a bunch of my anxieties and fears to Him.

This journal entry was written before COVID-19 became a global pandemic, before I left Boston, before my relationship ended, before political and social battlefields blew up, before death and anxiety consumed everyone’s minds, before starting my new career, before being in solitude for 6 months. I’m no prophet, because this could apply to many different years of my life, but it was made very clear to me this year that things would be particularly difficult.

“I will carry much of the burden with you if you let Me.” There were many times I did not let God carry the burden with me this year, because I thought I didn’t have time to think about anything except all the things I just listed. Those were the times when “difficult” became “crushing,” and when I felt the ground beneath me collapse. But in all the times I allowed Him to come and be with me, “difficult” became “difficult but peaceful.”

I’m not here to say that every hardship can be turned into a happy ending now that it’s December 31st. There is a bitterness that humanity tasted this year that won’t go away by holding hands (definitely not that) and singing kumbaya. Hard days are made harder when you specifically asked God to help make the day easier and He didn’t. Death and loss are harder when you prayed that God would perform a miracle and He didn’t.

But God is not wrong. Do not be mistaken — COVID (and all the other bad things of this year) needs to die in H-E-double hockey sticks; I hate it all so much. But as Fr. Mike Schmitz says in this video: God never promised we would not suffer, but He did promise that He would always be with us. “I am with you always.” (Matthew 28:20)

My last post about solidarity is an ode to this fact. I said to God about 20 times before 8:00am this morning at work: “I can’t do this, Lord. I can’t do this.” But He made His crown of suffering readily visible in my mind. On January 3, 2020, He promised I would grow, and I would not have grown on this day, in this year, had He not let me suffer with Him, as much as I wished He didn’t let me.

“It will be very good.” Death is not good. Suffering is not good. But into whatever I allow God to enter, suffering and death included, it will be very good. Just like the day Jesus suffered and died is called Good Friday.

Some things I still feel have not shown to be very good at all — continued death, continued division, continued hopelessness. Some things I can see are indeed very good — the Zoom calls with relatives; the virtual book clubs; the new, rediscovered, and transformed relationships; the job that both drains and sustains me; the time I received to fall in love with God again.

“You are ready for it.” The times of the past are now 1000x sweeter when I think about them. Seemingly dumb and insignificant memories and experiences of friends, family, and faith have become powerful motivators for me when I’m feeling very low. I am grateful for every sweet and bitter moment that has readied me to be standing in my kitchen typing all of this half asleep right now (before 9:00pm, might I add).

God has kept all His promises this year, and at first it seems to be at my dismay. I wish it wasn’t so hard and I wish He didn’t ask us all to go through 2020. But even the “best” year is not good unless the One who is Goodness Himself is with us. He is with us, if we allow Him to be, and that is very good.

Happy 2021!

So tell me: Anything you want about how you feel about this year or the next!

A Slow Start to the Year

We are NOT coming in hot over here, let me tell you.

2020 started with a short but sweet family trip to Toronto to visit some relatives up there. It was fantastic to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who I had not seen in ages it seemed.

Throwback photo of me and my cousins from 5 years ago (!!!) Now Kate is taller, I’m definitely heavier, and Iain has a mustache. Ben and Megan look the same.

Then I flew into beloved Boston last Saturday to get mentally and physically prepared for the start of my last batch of clinical rotations for PT school. I am currently working at an outpatient neuro PT clinic, which I am amped about!

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this pic is also from a few years ago, but the Citgo sign remains 🙂

Day one (Monday) was great! I’m looking forward to learning from my clinical instructor and also implementing my own knowledge and skill. It’s a bit daunting knowing that I need to be at an independent level of practice in these last clinicals, but with observation and some review of my notes, it’s all coming back (🎶 it’s all coming back to me no-o-owww 🎶 – Celine Dion). My clinical instructor seems very knowledgable and skilled, and all the staff at the hospital have been so friendly and welcoming to me, which is 99% of the happiness factor in a workplace, I think.

Day two (Tuesday) started off fine. It’s been an adjustment waking up at 5:30am for this night owl, but I’ve still been getting 7+ hours of sleep. During one patient’s evaluation though, I was excessively sleepy. Like, my eyes would shut and I would almost fall over (my CI was the one conducting the evaluation, so I was just observing). That’s when I started realizing something was off. I figured maybe I just needed a little food in me, but after lunch, it was downhill. I started to feel a bit nauseated, and standing felt more laborious than usual. It was rather interesting paying close attention to the increasing levels of aches and chills, honestly. After a one-hour treatment session, I went to the restroom…and I knew then that I was not well. I let my CI know, and she kindly told me that I could go home if I wanted to at that point, since there was only one more patient on her schedule anyway. At first I tried to push through for at least one more hour, but as I sat to rest, I knew I needed to go home.

Long story short, I’ve missed two whole days of clinical already in this first week due to a fever/stomach bug. I’m super grateful that my CI has been very understanding and gracious about giving me time to take care of myself (in addition to the fact that I can’t return to the hospital given my symptoms). My roommate bought me some Gatorade (thanks, Yuka!), and sleep has been my best friend. Most foods right now make me feel pretty queasy, and the GI symptoms are persisting, bleh.

Thank you to everyone who has listened to me complain, and to all those who have sent me get well wishes ♥︎

It’s been a slow start to 2020, but things could be worse. I hear a lot of people have been sick to some degree — colds, flus, fevers. Take care of yourselves and wash yo hands!!

Small setbacks like this definitely make me feel extra grateful for what my body and brain can normally do on a daily basis. For example, I just did 3 sets of very light, slow lunges in my room (the PT side of me is like “mooooove, so you don’t get deconditioned and atrophied!”) and subsequently needed to lie down on my bed to take a rest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Builds compassion for my patients, that’s for sure.

That’s the update for now. All is well overall, and even though I’ve complained enough, I really should not. I’ve got many people supporting me and a good God who is allowing me to offer up these minuscule sufferings for those who are in a much worse place than I am.

Hope your week is going a little better!

So tell me:

Have you or has anyone in your family gotten sick over the holiday season? (Every single one of my family members has been sick once since Christmas).

How has the start of your 2020 been so far? What have or have you not accomplished that you wanted to?

 

Never a Dull Moment

Merry Christmas!!! Happy New Year!!! I am so late in posting this!!!

I hope you all have had a joyful and peaceful Christmas, New Year, and holiday season. I am very grateful for all the blessings that God has brought about this semester and this Christmas, as He always does.

Second year of PT school is off to a fine start! This past semester was lighter in terms of work load, and that might be a reason why I enjoyed it more than others, but was also very genuinely interested in our first neurological systems course, especially since we had the privilege of working with patients every week who had actually had a stroke in their past.

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Of course, Christmas was a joyous and heartwarming celebration of our Savior’s birth! I spent lots of quality time with Madre, Pop, Ben, and Ben’s girlfriend, as well as my aunt, uncle, cousins, and John! We’ve been eating so. much. of Madre’s killer food. My arteries need a break from all of her delicious meats and all of the buttery Christmas cookies (still), but I am not that mad about the cause of the predicament.

Here’s a hodgepodge of snapshots from the latter half of the semester + Christmas! Blessed times, man. And selfies forever.

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On Christmas Eve, I meditated on His name “Emmanuel,” meaning “God with us,” and felt much gratitude for Our Creator becoming so close to us, becoming LIKE us in humanity, to be with us through every emotion and trial in this here earthly life. What Love.

Last Saturday, we drove down to Florida to stay at my parents’ vacation home for the week, and it’s been a lovely, relaxing time in this balmy Southern climate! One highlight was visiting the NASA Kennedy Space Center, which made me both awe-inspired and terrified of outer space. I wonder how people can get rockets to the moon while I can hardly get myself out of bed in the morning. Other highlights have included lots more food, my friend’s cat dressed in a sushi costume, learning how to play Settlers of Catan, and being able to walk in the Florida sunshine. My mother also gifted me a new iPhone X, so pic quality has improved!

Another collage to display the Florida fun:

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So…last year. This year. New Year. That kind of ~soft~ stuff.

There truly was never a dull moment in 2018. It was one of the most emotionally difficult years of my life. If I could guess the number of days that I cried (for better or for worse) in 2018, I’d estimate 300/365 days of the year. I’ve cried and seen others cry enough this year that at one point, a drop of water rolling down the side of my WATER BOTTLE provoked sadness in me because of its mimicry of a tear rolling down someone’s cheek. HAHAHA #melodramatic.

But you bet your bottom dollar those tears came with a lot of growth. I learned…

…how to communicate better, in a way that is both loving and straightforward/sometimes brutally honest. 

…how to better make decisions for myself.

…to allow myself to be uncomfortable and to not push away the feelings of loneliness or brokenheartedness, no matter how major or minor those feelings are, because the Lord makes Himself KNOWN in those feelings.

…forgiveness.

…to care a little less about what other people think.

…to be very comfortable in my own body through its ups and downs, ins and outs, gains and losses.

…God works legit miracles in my own life and the lives of my loved ones.

…a heck of a lot about physical therapy.

…the beauty of a man and a woman laying down their lives for one another in marriage (@Rachel and Austin).

…gratitude truly is the will of the God (1 Thessalonians 5:18), and it always brings a lot of light and clarity to life.

Although some of the non-dull moments of 2018 were quite difficult and painful, there were many moments that made my heart SOAR with joy. Instagram has some evidence of  the latter:

In 2019, I’d like there to be “never a dull moment” as well. Even in the monotony of work and life, it’s impossible for there to be a dull moment when there is so much that can be extracted from the moment — so many things for which to be grateful, so many ways to remain in His humble and simple love.

Hopefully the non-dull moments are more joyful than not, but whatever the weather, I am HERE FOR IT. Because God is good all the time.

Have a fabulous weekend! We are hittin’ the road back to NY already tomorrow!

So tell me:

What were some of the never-dull moments of 2018 for you?

What did you do for Christmas/the holidays/New Year?

What are you excited for in 2019?

 

 

The Most Low Key New Year’s Eve

Happy 2017!!! That’s such a weird year number, but I can’t wait to see what it brings.

Saturday started with a fun stair workout to mix things up:

10-8-6-4-2 sets of stairs with two 5# dumbbells. This circuit in between each set:

I like this one a lot! After stretching and showering, I helped Madre prepare lunch for some family friends who I hadn’t seen since I was in diapers (so basically meeting them for the first time!). I made the salmon by baking it with a marinade of garlic salt, pepper, mustard, honey, and dried dill. It was one of the best salmons I’ve ever cooked!

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Madre did most of the cooking though. She made sautéed vegetables, brown rice, Chinese sausage, pork ribs, and pasta with meat sauce (“for the kids”). As always, everything was fantastic! Madre is amazing.

We ended the meal with her fried bananas, clementines, and some mint chip ice cream that was sitting in our freezer. We defy all common food combinations.

Once our house guests departed, we headed to vigil Mass. After that, I felt a wall of exhaustion hit me — the kind where I don’t want anyone to talk to me, because it takes too much energy to respond (or at least respond without sounding really grumpy). So I napped!

Soon after I woke up, we left for our 8pm dinner reservation at Seasons 52, a restaurant I had visited once before and wanted to return to while we were in Florida. They serve up a lot of delicious seasonal dishes that are sophisticated but not intimidating, healthy enough but not obnoxiously healthy.

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We all shared a braised short rib flatbread and blistered shishito peppers to start, which were both super tasty.

For me entree I ordered the caramelized sea scallops with leek and butternut squash risotto, broccolini, and lemon butter. I LOVE scallops and these were great!

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We like to share bites of all our dishes, so I had a bite of Madre’s roasted pork tenderloin with mashed sweet potatoes, Ben’s seafood paella, and Pop’s lamb shank. All got a big thumbs up!

Our last dessert of 2016 was a trio of the famous Seasons 52 “delights” — classic desserts in mini glasses. I got the pecan pie, Madre got the chocolate peanut butter torte (this was my favorite!), and Ben got the raspberry cannoli.

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With full and happy bellies, I drove us home for the New Year’s countdown. There were fireworks going off from every direction (I think Disney was setting off a show every hour), so we didn’t even have to go anywhere to experience the celebration. Good thing, because my whole family was in bed before midnight, haha.

I spent the first hours of 2017 FaceTiming Rachel! It was cozy and fun 🙂

On the first day of 2017, I spent the whole day chillin’ at home. I…

  • Slept in. I feel like my sleep deficit is finally catching up with me.
  • Moved and grooved. I stretched (oh so sore from Saturday’s workout), tried to learn a dance on Youtube (lol), had a dance party by myself, and did Colby’s first workout of her 10 day holiday workout challenge!
  • Blogged (2016 recap here!)
  • Caught up with a couple friends
  • Listened to a great podcast
  • Caught up on other people’s blogs
  • Made breakfast for dinner

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open faced egg, Canadian bacon, and cheese sandwich + sautéed spinach

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more bread for dessert — toast with butter, honey, and cinnamon (tastes like a cinnamon roll!)

I’m off to San Antonio tomorrow for SEEK, a Catholic college students’ conference, and I’m pumped!!

I also just want to say thank you for being you. For your support this past year, your kind words, your prayers, and your existence. Much love to you ♥︎

So tell me:

How did you spend NYE and the first day of the year?