Current Mood(s)

It’s been a funky weekend.

My mood is currently a slurry of the following:

Upset, confused, uneasy, and heartbroken by the shootings (Christina Grimmie + mass shooting at Pulse) in Orlando this weekend.

I’m having a hard time just typing this blog post, because I’m watching several videos, reading tweets/statuses/articles, and just grappling with the whole situation and with the state of the world. May God be merciful to all, and may He grant rest to the souls of those who died and console their loved ones.

Friends, keep loving more deeply every day. Reflect on your purpose in this world. I don’t mean to be preachy right now, but when it comes to life and death, it’s important to ask yourself: What if my life on earth ended today? 

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Enraged, saddened, yet awe-inspired by the powerful letter the Stanford rape victim read aloud to her attacker.

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Unsure if cutting down on dairy is helping my tummy troubles. I’m currently drinking Lactaid milk (surprisingly, it’s exceptionally tasty milk) and avoiding Greek yogurt and cheese. I think I feel better with less Greek yogurt in particular (*tear*).

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the day before my mom picked up some Lactaid // carbs+pb isn’t the same without a glass o’ milk

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leftover green banana pancakes + banana cream sauce + glass o’ Lactaid (← doesn’t have the same ring to it)

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overnight oats made without Greek yogurt but with extra Lactaid milk, chia seeds, and half a scoop of vanilla protein powder — not bad!

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classic banana egg white oats (video tutorial coming soon!)

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baked banana bread oatmeal for this week’s breakfasts

I’m also unsure because I’m weak. I had a tiny bit of ice cream Saturday night with our leftover apple strudel from the farmers’ market 🙂 And I had a few cheesy jalapeño Popcorners yesterday.

I didn’t keel over or anything though, so it’s all good.

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Another likely culprit is definitely stress. I don’t notice my stress, but I think my body/mind has objectively been stressed these past few weeks.

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All that being said…

I’m ashamed and disappointed in myself. Honesty is the best policy. I feel ashamed that maybe my tummy troubles were actually coming from a few too many days of eating until I was stuffed, even if it was just a bunch of vegetables.

I have definitely not been binging by any means, but I do know that I sometimes stress eat and/or eat too quickly when I’m stressed. I was struck by the possibility that maybe my insides haven’t been cooperating because I just haven’t been too kind to them in regards to the volume I eat.

So I’ve been more aware of my stomach cues (without worrying about calories or anything), which (DUH) has been helping me feel more comfortable. I’m tempted to beat myself up about my recent eating habits, but I know that will just do me a disservice. Evaluate, learn, make the changes, and move on.

Somewhat off topic: Lunches these days have been all about eggs, which I find are easy on my stomach.

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two egg omelet with greens and onions + cherry tomatoes + avocado toast

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avocado toast with sunny egg and sriracha (among other things) for lunch on Saturday

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delicious bowl of quinoa, roasted broccoli, sautéed greens, onions, cherry tomatoes, chorizo + sunny egg + sriracha added post-pic

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Thankful that my body can move and exercise. I always try to be, but I’ve had to especially remind myself to be thankful this weekend because of some recent body image issues that I’ll talk more about tomorrow.

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Mom and I have been doing 7 minute workouts and Pilates together. So wonderful to move and groove with Madre.
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Working at a rehabilitation hospital has also done wonders for my perspective on physical ability, movement, and health.

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scene at lunch break

Saturday’s workout was a doozy! 4 rounds for time:

  • 10 burpee tuck jumps
  • 20 crazy Russian twists (10 each side, 15#)
  • 30 side jump lunges
  • 40 air squats with side leg lift
  • 50 mountain climbers

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HUSTLED on those last squats and mountain climbers when I saw that I could finish at 20 minutes

I did this yoga video yesterday, since everything was sore and my body had been craving good, organ-nourishing twists.

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Happy that I get to spend quality time with my parents on the weekends. We went out for sushi on Saturday night after Mass, followed by an evening walk.

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Mom and Pop’s sashimi for two

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cutest soy sauce dish

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my order: “Soho roll” (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, avocado, rice, roe, wrapped in soybean paper) + eel cucumber roll

Ain’t nothing like gooooooood sushi.

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Excited for friends and family in their adventures and endeavors. It’s so cool to see loved ones explore the world, learn, grow, and allow God to work through them.

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So there’s a lot happening in the head and the heart right now. A lot of it is growing pain, I think, which is encouraging and comforting. God is good, always.

I’m sorry if this post seems like a big, negative smash on your Monday, but that’s not my intent. This is just a reminder to myself and to all who read this that we need to support and uplift one another. Joy, beauty, heroism, and love exist, and it starts with you.

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So tell me:

What are your current moods?

Have you ever gone through periods of “meh” eating habits, even if you have a healthy mindset?

What are you thankful for today?

What is the best thing you did this weekend? Mass + dinner and walk with the parents ♥︎

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Currently

A few notable moments/things since I last posted (p.s. check out a day in the life here!):

  1. Lunar eclipse. There were some nerds in front of the honors college with telescopes and cameras staring at the blood moon…so I knew I could join them and fit in.Processed with VSCOcam with m5 preset
  2. Temperatures cold enough to make me want a jacket heavier than a sweater.
  3. Drinking tropical drinks despite said temperatures.Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset
  4. I have a new lab partner/breakfast buddy who also brings her own peanut butter to the dining hall and allows me to eat some when I forget to bring my own. #friendship.

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Besides those things, I thought this would be a good time to share some other things that I’m diggin’ and feelin’ currently. [Love reading these kinds of posts from bloggers like Spoons!]

Current book: Human physiology textbook and I don’t hate it. Also, currently getting through lots of pages in my Holocaust textbook. Reading about history has always been difficult for me attention-wise, but this content is interesting and heavy.

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Current music: “Conrad” by Ben Howard. One of my friends kept talking about how excited he was to see Ben Howard at Boston Calling (an annual local concert that features a ton of rising/already huge artists), so I decided to check out his music. Verdict: in love.

Current guilty pleasure: Studying in the communal kitchen. This sounds hella weird, I know. It’s my guilty pleasure because there are so many study rooms from which I can choose, but I choose the kitchen because there usually isn’t anyone in there, so it’s quiet, and I can stand or sit at the countertop.

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Rachel was judging me so hard. I’m high maintenance, I get it.

Current nail color hair style: Straight (natural) or in a ponytail. My hair is stubborn, so I just let it be free most of the time. I kinda want to curl my hair, so I’m waiting for a special occasion to do so.

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Current drink: H2O. Still carry around my water bottle like a security blanket.

Current food: I’m really enjoying these burritos that PJ’s Organics so kindly sent me!* I found out a couple weeks ago that I actually don’t have the unlimited meal plan (even though I thought I did this whole time); I actually have the 14-meal plan (14 meals per week + other dining points). Thus, any food that I can eat outside the dining hall in my dorm/on the go that is nutritious and delicious…sign me up.

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I think this breakfast burrito had rosemary or sage in it. Fantastic.

Current obsession: My fuzzy red blanket. It gets chilly in our dorm at night these days, so the extra fluff and warmth is much appreciated.

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Current wish: That I could read more blogs. Studying and activities say nay many a time.

Current need: I would say a massage, but that’s not really need. I would not object a massage offer though.

Current triumph: Deciding on leading a Bible study. I was on the fence about it at first, but with the prayers and encouragement of my friends, I have decided to lead a Bible study for freshmen girls starting next week!

Current bane of my existence: “Bane of my existence” always sounds so melodramatic, but I guess mine would be the fact that nothing has happened in terms of my normal, feminine processes yet.

Current indulgence: A heck of a lot of sugar in general, which is something I want to talk about in another post this week. But for now, I’m just reflecting on how much I love dessert.

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Current procrastination: Studying for my human physiology exam and instead typing this post. (Don’t worry, mom and dad, it’s under control.)

Current blessing: Really good friends. Always a blessing.

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Current excitement: Catholic Center retreat in New Hampshire this weekend! In addition to spending some deep, quality time with God and friends, I’m SO EXCITED FOR STARS. Living in New York and Boston, I don’t see stars that often, but the New Hampshire skies seem to display the universe and it makes me want to cry of happiness.

Current mood: Content, anxious, excited.

Current link: Instead of a link, I have a few quote photos from Pope Francis’ address at the Festival of Families. Even if you’re not Catholic, I think it’s safe to say that Pope Francis’ words during his visit to the US hit every person’s heart in one way or another.

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Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday!

So tell me your current:

…guilty pleasure.

…obsession.

…wish.

…mood.

*PJ’s Organics sent me some of their products to try. Review coming soon! All opinions and content are my own.