When You’re Feeling Off + Life Lately

It’s finally warm!

IMG_7766

Thank the Lord. It got up to a steamy 76*F on Tuesday!

HI. It’s been pretty quiet on Moves and Grooves lately, but it’s been a busy and weird couple of weeks. The weirdness was mostly attributed to me feeling very “off” in my faith life — prayer wasn’t the easiest, and I felt a lot of confusion, frustration, and guilt over some things in my life.

It’s not something I haven’t experienced before, but it’s always disorienting. However, I’ve learned to not depend on feelings or be driven by them all the time. This apples not only to matters of faith, but also matters of recovery, school, life in general. It makes sense (e.g. just because you don’t feel like sharing cake with your friend doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t), but feelings can be LOUD, so it’s good to remind ourselves that feelings are just feelings. We often need to follow what we know instead.

Know that God does not speak through confusion.

Know that God is infinitely loving and merciful.

c10eec76fbbc81b2430cff83862c216e.jpg

[source]

I’m not usually a pinterest quote person, but this Bible verse made it to my phone lock screen this week

And with God, every trial just yields more wisdom and peace. Holy Week has helped too! This year, it has been profound yet beautifully simple, and now we are all so ready for Easter 🙂

Let’s catch up though!! So much has been happening.

I went to my second spin class ever at Cyc with Christina (@foodietunes) last Wednesday. Once again, Sarah Gaines, founder of Fit University, taught the class and kicked. my. BUTT. My last spin/Cyc class was last year during Sarah’s first “tribe ride”!

IMG_7741

Christina texted me the night before:

Screen Shot 2017-04-14 at 11.35.40 PM

And so I dragged my butt out of bed to move my legs faster than they ever do, but I still couldn’t keep up with Sarah.

IMG_7743

I had squatted heavy for the first time in a long time THREE days before this class, and my quads were still crying by the warmup.

IMG_7746IMG_7745

Christina: “Can we pick you up?” // Sarah: “Not up here.”

IMG_7744

Thank you so much, Sarah, for a great class and for being an all-around inspirational gal!

After the Cyc class, I stopped by Whole Foods to get some yogurt, and this little fella was patiently waiting outside.

Corgis are my favorite kind of dog. They’re awkward, cute, and loyal. We need more men like that in the world.

Here are a couple solid dining hall meals I’ve eaten:

IMG_7759

breaded fish with seasoned rice and green beans

IMG_7754

empanadas on Latin night + salad

And I’ve been cookin’ up some fine things in the apartment as well!

IMG_7735

(from three weeks ago!) the last of the chicken + beans from the bomb enchiladas I made with cheese, avocado, and roasted brussels sprouts

IMG_7762

meatballs (actually, just mini muffin versions of this meatloaf), brown rice, cheese, and roasted paprika asparagus

IMG_7764

classics with a side of anatomy

IMG_7791

tomato, basil, feta, pepper, and olive oil

Last Sunday, Megan and I hosted “Assisi Night” for our Catholic friends. Essentially, it was an even that we made up because we’ve been obsessed with Assisi ever since we visited during our break while studying abroad. So we invited all our friends to hang out with us for an Italian food potluck, a movie about St. Francis and St. Clare, and good ol’ fellowship.

IMG_7777

the oddly large “T” is actually a tau sign, symbolic of the Franciscan order

IMG_7778

Dinner was complete with salad, caprese, focaccia, several kinds of pasta, and many desserts. Megan and I cooked most of it, but our friends came through with lots of delicious foods as well!

IMG_7774IMG_7770

this focaccia disappeared before the event started

IMG_7775IMG_7782IMG_7776

my attempt at cacio e pepe

IMG_7780

‘Twas such a fun night!!

Sunsets have been magnificent this week thanks to the clear blue skies.

IMG_7829IMG_7830

I wish I could go to a remote place so I could see stars too! (I’m asking for a lot, I’m sorry. I am very grateful for these sunsets.)

Exams, papers, projects, summer planning, etc. is all happening still. It’s a good kind of chaos.

I hope you all have a blessed Easter or just a joyful weekend! Eat lots of carbs for with me!

So tell me:

Do you ever have to ignore your feelings and go with what you know?

Two fun things you’ve done recently.

What are you doing this weekend!Easter and Marathon Monday, baby!

 

Joyful Exhaustion

So I cried on Sunday night.

Crying is pretty much a weekly occurrence just to let out all the emotions that have built up from the week, which might sound like there’s a problem that I need to fix, but crying is a very normal and therapeutic thing for me. Sometimes I cry by myself, and sometimes my parents kindly let me cry irrelevantly in the middle of our conversation (love you, Madre and Pop).

Needless to say, it’s been a long week. I started developing a very “woe is me” mentality by the end of the weekend, but the more I pray and talk about what I’m feeling with others, the more I realize that I have been given nothing but love through the people and circumstances God has placed in my life.

9 hours of sleep on Sunday night wasn’t a bad thing either.

Besides keeping up with school, here are some other things that have kept me joyfully exhausted lately:

1) Grabbing a cheeseburger with Fr. Barnes (the priest at our Catholic Center) for lunch on Thursday.

2) Gearing up for Holy Week!

3) Making time to spend with friends, even if only at the dining hall. This dining hall dinner involved double the carbs, which meant double the fun.

IMG_7694

seafood and sausage paella, so fancy!

IMG_7695

cheese ravioli

4) Cooking allllll the things at work, which gets so tiring after 5+ hours! I have so much respect for chefs and stay-at-home mothers/fathers. Yeesh.

5) Colby from You Make You (@be.happyhealthyfit) came to Beantown this weekend!! She crashed at my (now roach-free!) place, which meant a lot of quality time together 🙂

Some scenes from our foodie/fit/fun adventures:

Salads + corn bread at the food court on Friday night, followed by some bona fide college comedy.

IMG_7698

We had some study sessions. This one featured a Quest cinnamon roll cereal bar that Colby gave me. It totally brought me back to the cereal bars of my childhood.

IMG_7700

Friends who sweat together…

IMG_7702

 (even though we were both really sore this day)

Nothing some good pho can’t fix! This was my first time at Le’s, and it crushed the game.

IMG_7703

We split an XL bowl of chicken pho…

IMG_7704

…and a pork/shrimp vermicelli bowl, all for a grand total of $20! College wallets rejoice!

IMG_7707

We finished almost all of it.

IMG_7708

But our dessert stomachs were ready for [vegan] ice cream. Colby is sadly allergic to gluten and dairy, so FoMu was a Godsend.

IMG_7709

FoMu serves vegan, coconut milk-based ice cream. I got strawberry (per the server’s recommendation) and “f’oreo” in a waffle cone.

IMG_7711

Verdict? Delicious, rich, and creamy! But you have to be okay with coconut, because you can definitely taste the coconut in all the flavors.

IMG_7713

Colby got peanut butter (made with Teddie’s pb!) and strawberry

Then Colby spotted this gluten-free, vegan ice cream cookie sandwich and, being allergic to dairy/gluten and being deprived of places like FoMu at her school, she said, “when in Boston…”

IMG_7715

So we split it 🙂 (’twas a whopping $7+ though, what the freak!?)

IMG_7714

We took an Uber home because a) very full; b) raining.

Ugh, it was so fun spending the weekend with Colby. She is such a kind and genuine soul, and she has a refreshing presence in the healthy living social media world. I love you and am so honored to have spent this time with you, Colby!

6) This is the opposite of exhaustion, but shoutout to Megan for being the best roommate and always cleaning up our apartment without complaining or really saying anything. I see ya and appreciate you greatly, girl.

IMG_7728

egg in a hole on my Rainforest Cafe plate // Megan: “you have to see the logo if we want to be endorsed”

7) Workout/Bible study on Sunday mornings! This week, we had a great conversation about combatting the fear of living with our own selves.

8) Brunch with my fellow future PT friend, Selena! We went to Tatte on Sunday, and it was glorious.

IMG_7717IMG_7719

I recommended that Selena get the shakshuka, which is what I got last year. She loved it!

IMG_7718

And I got the turkey B.L.A.T (bacon, lettuce, avocado, tomato), which was fan-freaking-tastic. Thick cut applewood bacon, chipotle mayo, toasted and buttered multigrain bread MMM. Finished every last bite!

IMG_7725

Of course, we finished our meals with a pastry from the bakery. She got the creme brûlée croissant (!!!), and I got the pear almond muffin. Both were incredible.

IMG_7716

8) Lots of gross anatomy studying. We already have another exam next week?

9) Giving tours in the snow and the sunshine. This spring weather is sloooooooooooowly but surely coming along.

IMG_7729

10) Keeping up with relationships with friends, family, and God. I often take advantage of one or the other, but I am constantly reminded of how precious these relationships are.

IMG_7731

So my exhaustion is mostly first-world-induced, I know. But fast-paced, privileged lives can be surprisingly threatening to true peace and joy, which can best be found in the silence and simplicity of God’s Love.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday!

So tell me:

Have you felt super busy/exhausted recently?

Have you ever tried vegan ice cream? 

Two things you’re grateful for!

 

 

Fasting and Feasting

He is risen!! He is risen indeed!

Happy Easter, friends! ♥︎

Phew, wow, I cannot tell you what’s going on inside of me right now, because you would have to physically shut me up (or pry my fingers from the keyboard in this case). Joy, gratitude, stress, fullness, tiredness.

Last week was a stressful week, but powering through the stress made the Holy Triduum and Easter all the sweeter.

IMG_2176

*Disclaimer: These next few paragraphs include content relating to fasting and restriction. Please take caution ♥︎ Those with mental disorders (including during recovery from eating disorders) are not required to fast from food.

In light of Good Friday (the day we commemorate Jesus’ death), I fasted from Thursday night until Saturday (not a full fast, just less food than usual). Obviously, it was challenging. The point of fasting in the Catholic Church is to feel hunger and weakness as our Lord did in His time of suffering for our sins, and to unite our (minor) sufferings with His.

When I fasted for the first time last year, I was in a more delicate place regarding my relationship with food. I was a lot more worrisome about making sure that I was eating enough but not more than I was supposed to. This year, fasting was 100% sacrifice mode for me. You don’t have to tell me twice to eat enough at this point in my life, so I didn’t have to worry about mixing up restriction with fasting at all.

IMG_0247

Although sacrifice is involved, we’re encouraged to be smart with fasting. I had a three hour class and then a campus tour on Friday, so I made sure I had just enough energy to get through those things. Fasting should not cause you to be utterly incapacitated nor make you feel super lightheaded/nauseated.

The most significant thing I noticed while fasting this year was that it was freeing to feel that hungry yet know that my hunger pangs were volitional not for restriction but for sacrifice. It empowers me to be okay with being very hungry sometimes, because I know the hunger doesn’t have to be connected to the intention of losing weight. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I was planning on doing a quasi-fast on Saturday, but I went out to lunch with my parents and family friends, and this happened:

IMG_0237 IMG_0238 IMG_0239

I couldn’t be rude and say no to their generosity and kindness….

agreement-gif

[source]

I also took— not one— but two naps on Saturday. They were both 20 minutes, so I don’t feel too bad.

The weather cleared up nicely by late afternoon, and I hadn’t moved and grooved in a while, so I did this workout (one of my favorites!) by the river.

IMG_0154

For whatever reason, I think my body produces a HECK of a lot of gas after I eat a big, fatty meal and then work out later that day. ‘Cause my GI tract was hurtin’ from after I worked out until much later that night. (It felt just like this day last summer!) The gas just stays inside of me and it feels like pins and needles are poking me from the inside out.

TMI, but welcome to the blog.

Saturday night involved the coolest Mass of the year—the Easter Vigil! Followed up by a late night Easter celebration, which commenced the FEASTING. It was also fun to wear makeup again 🙂

IMG_0255 IMG_0244

I went to bed at 3 AM, haha. I got 6 hours of sleep that night, and now I’m typing this at midnight the night after. I’m so prudent with my life decisions.

Easter Sunday started with a 30 minute walk to brunch with the family + family friends!

IMG_0257 IMG_0260

THIS PLACE. Dreams. Check it:

IMG_0259

apple donut holes for appetizer, because Easter

IMG_0261

cast iron skillet cornbread with honey butter *moment of silence*

IMG_0264

my entree: cornmeal crusted cod + mango salsa slaw sandwich on brioche

IMG_0263

also shared some of my mom’s “Breakfast Club” waffle sandwich (triple decker with fried chicken and fried egg + syrup for dipping)

Heart-stopping on so many levels. It was so wonderful seeing my family again too. Thank you for making the trip up here, Madre and Pop!

Then I went back to the dorm to do some homework (blah) before hanging out with friends from the Catholic Center and eating MORE.

IMG_0289 IMG_0325 IMG_0303 IMG_0272

air saxophones

IMG_0278 IMG_0286

WOMEN.

IMG_0300

radiant souls

IMG_0305

tradition ♥︎ 

It looks like it was warm outside, but it wasn’t. We sucked it up #ForThePics.

What a blessed day. I am at a loss for words except “Alleluia!”

The rest of the day involved me rushing to get in an assignment due at 5pm, mobile soup kitchen with my inspirational friends, and late dinner.

IMG_0331

spinach artichoke dip to share (we all burned the roofs of our mouths devouring this)

IMG_0332

arugula salad with golden raisins, candied walnuts, blue cheese, red onions, and Italian herb vinaigrette

IMG_0333

my aunt’s homemade zucchini bread with almond butter

Plus another cookie and more almond butter.

Thank you, family. Thank you, friends. Thank YOU for reading this and supporting me so lovingly. Thank you, Lord for your Death and Resurrection and Love beyond imagination.

Hope you all have a splendid Easter week!

So tell me:

Three things you did this weekend!

The best thing you ate this weekend!

Do you have any insights on fasting/feeling very hungry after having experienced an eating disorder?

Virtual Lunch Date

If we were having lunch together…

…I would apologize for missing our usual breakfast date this morning. If I had a battery for myself, I was at -5% last night, so I chose sleep over typing this blog post.

….I would tell you that my body is begging for lots of good food today. My body is probz still repairing from this workout that I did on Friday (even just 6 rounds at 20 and 25# did me under) and the strength workout I did yesterday.

IMG_0187

breakfast this morning

IMG_0190

lunch this afternoon

…I would tell you that my brain is extra needy for energy this week with three exams on deck.

IMG_0166

…I would tell you that Saturday was a fun day— St. Joseph’s feast day, lunch with Rachel and her younger sister (which involved a giant biscuit with sausage gravy), and celebrating my friend Megan’s birthday! Someone brought a lot of Girl Scout cookies to the party, so I helped myself to one three (samoa, thin mint, and tagalong— the “trifecta,” as Rachel calls it).

IMG_0163 IMG_0162 IMG_0164

…I would tell you that spring has sprung!!!

IMG_0188

^^^That was the joke of Snapchat this morning when Boston woke up to this. Remember when it was spring break 8 days ago and we were all warm and happy?

IMG_0080

But now I’m looking outside and it’s sunny and kind of warm and all the snow is melting. Because why not, Mother Nature?

…I would tell you that Friday’s weather was also bizarre. It was cloudy and ominous yet blue and sunny all at the same time. I must have opened and closed my umbrella five times within one walk.

IMG_0155

to be sunny or not to be sunny: a reflection of my soul

…I would tell you that Snapchat notifies me of occasions that I didn’t even know existed.

IMG_0183

I can get on board, I guess. Happiness is good. Happiness is also facilitated by Sundays and apple crisp a la mode.

…I would tell you that I am SO STOKED that it’s Holy Week! There is honestly nothing keeping me going through this hell week of exams like the knowledge that Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter await. *anticipatory happy dance*

tumblr_n3zve2Z0NW1sypvl1o1_500

[source]

…I would tell you that it was so lovely getting to take a break from studying and catch up with you for half an hour! But exercise phys calls.

…I would ask you:

How is your spring weather so far?

What are you eating for lunch?

Do you find that you’re learning a lot about national/international occasions via social media?

What’s exciting you this week!?

Five Minute Friday #8: Confidence

This week was more packed than a chipmunk’s mouth before hibernation!!!

enhanced-buzz-16108-1289424850-3

[source]

Or my face before hibernation.

IMG_0139

This week…

Lots of time with our noses in the books:

IMG_0104

I got to see my cousin for a hot minute! She was visiting from Canada to check out some colleges in Boston (not Boston University though…*sadness*).

IMG_0140

Fab breakfast and deep conversation with my friend, Lauren:

IMG_0110

An exceptionally delicious wrap with roast beef, pepper jack, roasted vegetables, corn salsa, lettuce, tomato, and honey mustard:

IMG_0111

Dinner with my dear friend Mai and her boyfriend (arguably the cutest couple I’ve ever known):

IMG_0118

Fish tacos that were messy yet delightful:

IMG_0117

there’s fish under there

A free Cyc Fitness class (aka my first spin class ever), compliments of Fit University founder, Sarah Gaines!

IMG_0135

Sarah just became a “Cycologist” (certified spin instructor at Cyc), so she kindly invited me and my friend Cassandra to her first tribe ride!

IMG_0119

didn’t know what we were getting into

IMG_0123

taken aback by the special shoes

Like I said, I had never been to a spin class before, so I didn’t know what to expect…

IMG_0126

…but, uh, Sarah kicked my ass. When that beat dropped and she went double time on the pedaling for two sets of 32 counts—HAHA. How. My quads are totally not adapted to moving that quickly for that length of time. Also, pretty sure I was sweating taco/I could still smell fish taco on my hands.

But the music, lights, and overall atmosphere were amazing, and I left feeling spent and sweaty as ever.

IMG_0138

Thank you so much, Sarah!! You absolutely killed it, and I would definitely come back to #getcyced with you again.

St. Patrick’s Day was fun and festive with our (my friend Kristy and me) first Shamrock Shake ever!

IMG_0148

I love mint. That thing was straight. up. SUGAR. I enjoyed it, but I honestly could not consume more than a quarter of it. ‘Twas a good experience though.

I had a large hunk of cornbread with turkey chili in the dining hall last night. Random, but good news.

IMG_0149

Not so good news: I have three exams next week.

Good news: Five Minute Friday is here again! I’m talking about confidence, inspired by my breakfast convo with Lauren. Specifically, I’d like to know how you guys feel about being “useful” to others and how you feel about compliments.

link to video!

Great news: This Sunday is Palm Sunday and next week is Holy Week!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend ♥︎

So tell me:

Do you find that you need to be “useful” to others in order to be worthy of their time?

How do you handle compliments?

Have you ever tried a spinning class? Do you like spinning?

Have you ever tried a Shamrock Shake?