Calling out the negative coping mechanisms for my stress without judgement.

pray.

…I would say that I should probably do more of this. Or at least do more silent, intentional prayer. I am definitely praying all throughout the day for my patients and for continual strength from God to do what I need to do, but to be with the Beloved in a quiet space is a rare occasion these days, and I know that it is in my control to change that.

What I think I really need to clean up is my night routine. The hardest thing these days is coming home exhausted and wanting to “turn my brain off,” so I turn to social media or talking to friends or watching an assortment of Youtube videos (other people eating or working out or talking about God usually). I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER. But I’ve been doing it anyway in an attempt to fill myself.

Guess what. It’s not working super well.

My face is broken out in acne; my cortisol levels shoot me up at around 7am even if I want to sleep in; my workouts feel really difficult; I sometimes find myself stress eating. None of this is first-time experience, and I know that the sources are a) stress from work; b) lack of quality time with God. One of these can be changed, for sure, if I really want it. And I do.

I am grateful that, at this point in my life, I can call out these negative coping mechanisms of mine without being hard on myself. I am also grateful for these seasons of stress and adjustment that remind me of my weakness and the need to rely on God c o m p l e t e l y.

Something that helps me with bouncing back from negative coping mechanisms is to “just say yes to the next good thing.” Whether that’s putting down the phone at 9:00pm, taking out the trash the night before instead of almost forgetting in the morning, turning off the TV Youtube while I’m eating dinner, etc. Say yes to ONE next good thing. Just one.

eat.

The best thing I ate last week was chicken saag with garlic naan and basmati rice from a local Indian restaurant. My brother picked it up for us + his girlfriend on Thursday night, and we had a lovely socially distanced dinner in the backyard. It made for two delicious meals, which is the best 🙂

move.

I’ve still been loving the outdoor KB workouts on Sundays hosted by @kettlebellgains_apparel. I didn’t go this weekend because I needed a bit of rest (aka napped too long and was a sort of too late lol) and wanted to catch up with family over video chat, but most Sundays I try to make it down there for awesome community and HEAVY kettlebell work!

Otherwise, my workouts have been mostly strength/mobility-based and pretty low key. I’ve been telling my patients, “I work out so I can do this [physical therapy]!” And I mean it.

groove.

On Friday night, I got home late so I ran up and down the stairs blasting uplifting praise and worship to sing, dance, and work up a sweat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever works.

On Saturday, I met up with my apartment-mate from last year, Yuka! She loooooves NYC, so I gave her a little tour of some of my favorite spots, some new-to-me spots, and some of her requested spots. It was a day of 29K+ steps, lots of carbs, and good friend time! Masked and outdoors only, of course.

It was fun writing a good old blog post again. This always helps to ground me. Thank you, as always, for reading along on this 7+ year journey.

So tell me:

Do you find yourself using “negative” coping mechanisms at times? How do you try to bring yourself out of those?

What are some things that ground you during stressful/challenging times?

Do you like Indian food? Fave dish? What is the best thing you did this weekend?

Don’t lose yourself.

pray.

Gosh I hate how cliche that title sounds, but it’s the topic of this post and the thing on my heart as of late.

First of all, I’ve been praying for a lot of grace and gusto going from six months of having virtually no hard schedule to a full-time work schedule soon. Even just training this week tuckered me out, but that was also due to the stress of wondering, “HOW WILL I REMEMBER EVERYTHING AND ALSO BE THE PT THESE PATIENTS WANT ME TO BE?!” I’m filling the position of another PT who is moving to another position within the same company, and her patients love her (for good reason; she’s awesome at what she does and super kind to boot), so I’m definitely feeling the pressure of filling big shoes.

As I said in my latest day in the life vlog, prayer is major key for everything in my life. So I have been telling God about the pressure I am feeling to be exactly like this amazing PT who is leaving, as well as the fear of losing my mind a bit due to having much less time to pray during the day (and mostly just my mind being filled with thoughts about my job).

There are productivity numbers to hit, patients to care for, nuances to remember, hours to work. No one by any means is putting any undue pressure on me, to be clear. But the internal pressure to rise to the occasion makes me panic and want to just do anything I can to conform and please. But I have to remember what I believe as a physical therapist, given the education I have received. And from a personal standpoint, I have to make time around my schedule for the things that build up my relationship with the One I love and to be intentional about sanctifying my work as one biiiig prayer to God.

I am 1000% having newbie professional stress that I know will subside with time. I am very open to new ideas and experiences, but in all of it, I do not want to lose myself.

eat.

On Sunday I made baked cinnamon sugar donut holes (mini muffins) using this recipe, since I don’t have a donut mold. They were everything I wanted in a homemade donut.

For work I’ve decided I will he making ham, cheese and lettuce sandwiches with mayo and mustard. Let me tell you, I LOVE this classic brown bag type of sandwich. Untoasted. It’s nostalgic somehow, even though I barely ate ham and cheese as a child?

move.

I’ve still been posting my workouts on my instagram stories (which are saved on my highlights!), but here was one of my favorites from the past week:

  • 100 American KB swings (broken up any way you’d like)
  • 100 goblet squats (I broke up into sets of 25)
  • 50 pushups (I did sets of 5-10 at a time for form)
  • 50 burpees (i did in sets of 10 any style you’d like)

This was a simple and quick workout that focused on form over anything! I’ve been really honing in on perfecting my form as much as possible with every rep to increase the effectiveness of the exercise and make my workouts more efficient.

groove.

On Sunday night I learned the dance moves to the bridge of the song “Amigas Cheetahs’ by the Cheetah Girls (go to 3:15 to see the part I learned). I have always loved that part of the song and also the dance moves but it only took me ten years since first seeing the movie to learn it. #disneydreamsdocometrue

I do the dance like twice a day at least now.

I typed this whole post on my phone because my laptop has decided to do magic tricks and make my whole operating system completely disappear??? Getting that checked out this weekend.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

So tell me:

Have you ever felt like the hustle of life / work made you “lose yourself” to any degree?

Have you ever made homemade donuts?

What is a silly childhood dream of yours? Has it ever come true??

DAY IN THE LIFE VLOG: Combatting Loneliness

Yesterday I decided to make a vlog and it was one of the most fun to make for some reason. Check it out if ya fancy:

Click here if the embedded video is not working!

Would love to converse with you about all the things!

So tell me:

How do you strive to remember the goodness of your own body?

What is your favorite form of exercise?

What do you do on days off?

What was your favorite meal yesterday?

Do you have a life mentor/spiritual director?

Are you reading any books currently?

Have you cut your own hair during quarantine?

How do you get grease stains out?

More vlogs? Yay? Nay?

Nothing is ever as expected (theme of the year?).

pray.

Things have changed and moved very quickly in my life the past week or so. Nothing huge, but definitely important. Thus, a lot of my prayer has been sheer surrender to God, asking Him to take care of everything.

Surrender to God does not mean be a potato and wait for God to do everything for you. His plan requires our cooperation, and most importantly our free will. But to surrender is to let go of expectation, willing to let go of desires for a greater good, and trust that whatever happens, He is with you.

So that’s been a big part of my prayer this week.

eat.

Yesterday was national potato day, so I air fried some Ore-Ida tater tots and crinkle cut fries as a (large) part of my dinner last night and ooooo baby I was happy.

move.

Last evening, I ran for the first time (continuously) since coming back to NY. The weather has been wonderful here this week, so I figured running in the neighborhood would be a good way to enjoy it while also doing something good for my cardiovascular system.

It was a slowwww 4 miles, but I’m making myself feel better by saying my neighborhood is hilly.

groove.

I have accepted my first big girl job offer! The new-grad-in-COVID-era job search has been the roller coaster that prompted the prayers stated above. The job for which I signed was not the job I thought I would take if you asked me 5 days ago, but nothing is as expected. Some doors close, some doors remain open, and some doors you choose to not walk through.I have a couple weeks before starting, so I’m trying to soak up this relative free time and prepare myself to practice physical therapy finally!

I’ll share more about this after I start the job, but please pray for me and my patients to come!

Nothing is as expected, which is a big theme of 2020… and honestly a big theme of my life. I should know that by now 🙂

So tell me:

What are some unexpected things that have happened to you recently?

Did you eat potatoes yesterday?

What are your weekend plans?

I’m a nap supporter.

A lot of people answered on my Instagram story that they do not introduce their friends by their occupation! Now that I think about it, that makes sense to me. Some people told me that they introduce others by how they met, and I think I do that most often too.

One friend also noted that, anecdotally, people in healthcare professions may more often be introduced by their occupation vs. those not in healthcare or at various corporate jobs, for example. I replied in agreement from my own experience, and perhaps it is because healthcare is easy to understand, while many other jobs seem less concrete. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Good thoughts, friends!

pray.

These are a couple of the Church’s evening prayers from yesterday:

Creator of all things, your Son desired to work among us with his own hands,
– be mindful of all who earn their living by the sweat of their brow.
May your people praise you, Lord.

Be mindful of those who devote themselves to the service of their brothers,
– do not let them be deterred from their goals by discouraging results or lack of support.
May your people praise you, Lord.

I’m not even WORKING yet, but these prayers gave me a lot of peace, not just for myself but for everyone who is working and grinding away. It’s part of the human experience to labor, deal with people you don’t like, do the mundane things, and do the exciting things in work.

Work is a gift, but work is also hard (spoken from my clinical experiences and summer jobs that I’ve had). Whatever “work” is for you — both in and out of the home, both paid and unpaid — my prayer for you is that you feel loved and respected in your work and that you feel at peace in it.

Nothing too lengthy today; just a universal affirmation for you.

eat.

I had one small potato that I forgot to bake the last time I made these fries, so I baked it in the toaster oven last night for a 9pm snack. I was a happy gal.

Do you prefer nectarines or peaches?? Because I feel like they’re the same besides the skin. I had a nectarine yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I can’t tell the taste or texture difference from a peach.

this is from 2017, but nectarines haven’t evolved since then

move.

Yesterday’s workout was FUN and longer than usual, but I figure I can fit in some longer workouts these days when I’m not working yet. Usually my workouts are no more than 40 minutes, not including the warmup.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 reps of:

  • stair sets (I have 30 steps from my basement to top floor)
  • pistol squats each leg
  • thrusters
  • pushup burpees

(example: first round do 10 of each, next round do 9 of each…all the way down to 1 rep of each)

The sets of stairs are what made this quite a long workout. It took me 1 hour to complete and I was pooped afterwards.

groove.

I took a 1-hour nap yesterday. Purely knocked out on the couch when taking a break from some computer work.

I love naps. Some people hate napping because it messes up their nighttime sleep schedule or feel guilty because they feel unproductive, which I can understand.

But I support short-ish naps (mine yesterday was not that short though), because if I can afford one, a nap often makes me a happier person if I’m dragging and also makes my brain physically feel like it has been cleansed (the cerebrospinal fluid does some magic in there).

this is me as an infant waking up from a nap, crying because I was hungry, which is relatable to this day

So tell me:

How are you feeling about your (paid and unpaid) work these days? Cruising? Loving it? Indifferent? Hating it?

Peaches or nectarines? Or are they essentially the same to you?

Do you like napping?