Today.

This blog post is not even about today, LOL.

In its purest cliché description, this post is about living in the moment. The theme stems from the plethora of changes — mental, intellectual, spiritual, physical (← idk, maybe less so), emotional — I’ve experienced in these past few months.

I’m the kind of person who takes her sweet time (I’m the most inefficient person I know) to try to do things “right,” whatever that means.

I face normal, everyday questions:

Should I study by myself or with classmates? 

Do I take the train or Uber or walk?

What should I pack for dinner? Should I buy dinner instead? 

Should I listen to Tori Kelly or Young the Giant in the 4 minutes I have before I arrive at my destination?

And then there are some bigger questions:

Why has God placed this person/friendship/relationship in my life?

What are my professional goals?

Where will I be a year from now?

What path do I need to take in order to best serve God for the rest of my life?

What is the right thing to do so that everyone is happy in the long run?

It is these latter questions that wrack my brain 5/7 days a week, because I don’t have a single dang clue what the answers are. I have a hard enough time coming to a decent answer for the everyday questions; the big questions just sort of debilitate me.

Of course, I’m sure nearly everyone feels the same way that I do about big questions regarding the future. How can anyone be sure about the future? But somehow I still forget that the only thing I can do is love and serve God today. Our words and actions today do indeed have ramifications for the future, but your mind, body and spirit can’t be anywhere but here today. For our lives are made up of days.

SO TODAY IS GOOD AND IMPORTANT AND CANNOT BE AVOIDED SO LIVE IT, DANG IT.

That yelling was mostly for myself. A self pep talk you could say. I didn’t mean to yell at you.

All that said, here are some moments with my family that I tried to live fully in the moments they were happening.

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Ben and I took our parents out to Hemingway’s for dinner as a Christmas present, since the best gift we can really give to each other at this point in our lives is quality time and food. I got {absurdly expensive} crab cakes, which were delightful with the coconut grits underneath and perfectly cooked asparagus on top.

The rosemary sourdough rolls at the start were also fantastic, but they were no cheese biscuits (the complimentary bread that was served when we first went to the restaurant three years ago). RIP cheese biscuits. I will dream about thee forever.

We all split calamari as an appetizer and key lime pie for dessert as well. Both hit all the right spots.

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I’ve been peddle boating with Madre! There have been alligator sightings in the lake in the past, so I’m always a little on edge about that, but thus far we have not been eaten.

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On Wednesday morning, Madre, Ben and I (Pop was working from home — man of the year) went to Keke’s Breakfast Cafe for…breakfast, naturally. It’s apparently extremely popular, so we worked up an appetite and waited approximately 25 minutes for a table. ‘Twas worth it though because just LOOK at the food.

Ben got the apple cinnamon stuffed French toast with home fries and sausage; Mom got regular French toast with eggs and sausage; and I got the largest blueberry pancake in the world with eggs and {bomb} bacon.

^^^True story. I ordered two pancakes at first, but then the waiter asked, “Are you sure?? Have you seen the size of our pancakes? If I eat two then I pass out.”

In my head at first I thought, “You don’t even know me.” But then I was like #humility and #dontbegreedy, so I ordered one pancake instead. Good thing, because the pancake was like a literal 9-inch cake in height and diameter, guys. I had to take 1/3 of it home. I NEVER LEAVE PANCAKES BEHIND USUALLY.

But it was a large, high-quality pancake. So fluffy and buttery. High recommend. Butter and Aunt Jemima required.

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^^^Random: Saw this at Publix. This is bad. I hate this headline, and I don’t hate many things. If you lose 10 lbs in 48 hours, something is WRONG.

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To end on a positive note though, God is good all the time.

And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You so will I

— “So Will I” by Hillsong United

(if you wanna hear something beautiful today, listen to ^^this song, especially the Tori Kelly version)

Enjoy today 🙂

So tell me:

Thoughts about living today.

Waffles, French toast, or pancakes?

What is something ridiculous you’ve seen recently?

 

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Five Minute Friday #12: Fear of Failure

I woke up in the middle of the night doing sit-ups, I KID YOU NOT.

I think I was dreaming about doing the sit-up test in high school phys ed, and as I was waking up in my hazy state, I felt the need to continue cranking out the reps. Hahaha ew.

I’ve also been going to sleep and waking up pretty early this week — bed at 10:30 ish and wake up at 6:45 naturally. Oh what glory! The early sunrise and blue skies for the second half of this week have been making me so happy.

Other things making me happy this week:

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big breakfasts: two eggs scrambled with veggies + whole wheat french toast with almond butter and banana + glass o’ milk

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impromptu d-hall dinner with the roomie (and her provocative captions…we sleep in our own beds FYI)

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visiting chefs in the d-hall! calamari salad + chicken with veggies and polenta

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ice cream with sprinkles + mini cannoli

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last exercise phys lab with the coolest lab group

My first article on Fit University! It’s basically the story of my journey to fitness and health ➔ “There Was a Time When the Healthy Living Community Was Bad For Me.”

The last thing making me happy(ish) this week: Asking God to be humble me and getting exactly that. Yeesh, ask and you shall receive, am I right??

That last point kinda leads me to this week’s Five Minute Friday, which is about fear of FAILURE. I way cheated this week and made the vlog almost 7 minutes, mostly because my brain is a wee bit slow and I can’t form words quickly enough.

link to the video!

Three day weekend up ahead for us at BU for Marathon Monday/Patriots’ Day! Yeeeeeya. Hope you all have a fun weekend!

So tell me:

Are you afraid of failure? How do you deal with it?

Have you ever woken up doing something really weird?

What’s making you happy right now?

Know anyone running the Boston Marathon!?

Friday Fun(ny) Facts

And then there were three…

We helped move Ben back into his apartment in Boston yesterday since he starts classes on Monday, leaving Pop, Madre and me at home. It’ll be my turn to go back to Boston in 8 days!

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not in this weather though…

For this Friday’s post, I’m sharing some random fun/funny facts about this week!

1) I accidentally discovered a way to make my eyelashes look fabulous. First of all, I have super short, straight eyelashes that point forwards and sometimes downwards (#AsianProblems). Mascara helps, but it’s still usually hard to see those little stinkers.

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Example.

Last week, when I was roasting baby potatoes for our New Year’s Eve dinner, I opened the oven to check on them and hot air/steam blasted my face. It kinda hurt and I felt something weird happen to my eyelashes. I feared they might have burned off or something, but when I checked in the mirror, it looked as if I just used the best eyelash curler in the world. The hot air seemed to have “ironed” my lashes upward (I was also wearing mascara).

Lesson: I need to put on mascara and then nearly burn my face to get nice-looking eyelashes. (Nah.)

2) I attempted to make lava cake for Madre, but it ended up being…cake. With a weird texture.

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I think I scrambled the egg in the stovetop portion of the recipe. At least it tastes good (to a chocolate-lover)!

3) I decided to run on Wednesday night, and I kept passing a couple ladies walking their dogs whenever I looped around. One of the ladies said, “You’re fast!” Hahaha that’s new. She was being quite generous because I was going at, like, 10:00 pace. But I still appreciated the encouragement!

4) I ate peanut butter with chopsticks.

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Long story short: I needed something to eat, there was nothing else to eat in the car, and there were no spoons around. Thankfully, Madre carries chopsticks in her purse.

5) Ben’s apartment is on the fourth floor of his building. There are no elevators in his building. I’ll leave it at that.

We did fuel very well the night before with a lovely family dinner at a place called Bistro 12IMG_9750

delicious, light, and crispy calamari to start

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(HUGE) tasty salmon

Madre, Ben and I fueled very well after the move-in too. Large platters of meat, rice, and veg at our favorite Vietnamese market.

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7) I am constantly in awe of the supportive blog community. Seriously, thank you all for being such great people who truly care about the person behind the blog post. ♥︎

Speaking of the blog community, here are a few of my favorite links from this week (and last week)!

A Letter to All Girls: You Are Magnificent, So Don’t Settle via The Peanut Butter Lover

The Smartest Thing You Can Do For Yourself Today via Marc and Angel

Sit Back and RELAX via Emmy’s Yummys

Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Bake via Fit Foodie Finds


Happy Friday, friends. I’m seeing Daliza today!!!

So tell me:

A fun/funny fact from this week.

Do you have a secret to luscious lashes?

What are you doing today?

Being Judgmental of Your Own Hunger Cues

I have concluded that video games/virtual worlds are not my cup o’ tea.

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“Oh I’m supposed to follow the arrow!”

My brother and I took our cousins to Disney Quest— Disney’s multi-floor arcade and video game attraction— for a fun “kids” day while our parents dined at a fancy restaurant. It was super fun spending time with the dudes, but I can only stare at colorful lights and crazy pixels for so long (ironic because I can look at a computer screen for quite a long time…but that’s different from looking at crashing cars and flashing neon lights).

I was literally saying Hail Mary’s before going into one of those virtual roller coaster things that require you to go into a capsule, be strapped in, and stare at a virtual roller coaster on a screen while you’re being tossed around inside the capsule. Bleccchhhhh.

It’s no wonder that I was perfectly content just drawing Minnie Mouse at the “Animation Academy” lesson.

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My cousin said she was a chubby Minnie. I call it baby Minnie.

Air hockey, giant Fruit Ninja, and Dance Dance Revolution were also pretty fun 🙂

We ended our night at Splitsville “Luxury Bowling” for dinner (even though we didn’t bowl). We shared fried calamari to start, and then I had the ahi tuna salad with Asian pear dressing. Tasty!

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Earlier yesterday morning, I ate a nice and filling breakfast that consisted of butt-end toasts with sunflower seed butter and peanut butter; plain Greek yogurt with honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, and banana slices; and some mango.

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I woke up at 8:30 after going to bed at 2:30 AM, so I actually went back to sleep for another hour after breakfast and some blog reading. When I re-awoke, I ate another banana and then tackled some moves. Yesterday was a 5 minute jump rope warmup, foam rolling, and this at-home chipper workout from Tina.

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{via}

This is a GREAT workout. Challenging, quick, and no equipment required! However, I did use a 36# barbell for 50 of the squats and an abmat for the sit-ups for a little bit of an extra challenge. I also did jump lunges instead of alternating lunges. My quads were Jell-O.

Lunch followed immediately after! I ate some bites of my mom’s leftover seafood mofongo from Tuesday night, and then I made myself avocado toast and two-egg scramble with spinach and feta. I also ate a clementine after this— they’re sweet and juicy this time of year!

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We ate outside because the weather was perfection. I expressed my love for this moment on Instagram 🙂

Now I want to put on my serious-ish face and talk to you about something. (Warning: some of the following content may be triggering to those struggling with eating disorders. Take care! ♥ )

judgmental hunger cues

Whenever I go on day-long outings with family and friends other than my immediate family, I tend to fall into the dreaded comparison trap when it comes to food (obviously not a fault of my family or friends whatsoever!). I’ve gotten over the comparison trap quite successfully in college, but new situations always seem to throw me right back into it.

For example, I love breakfast, so I’m going to eat a big and/or dense morning meal such as the one I ate yesterday. Then I’ll see that every other person is eating half a waffle with a glass of juice or just a bowl of cereal, and they’ll be completely satisfied. “Oh…”

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This is not to say that there is anything wrong with small breakfasts if that’s your jazz!

It’s easier for me to brush this off because I know I tend to have bigger breakfasts than most of my friends, but that’s what works and that’s what I love. However, three hours later I might be hungry for a snack while no one else is.

There are also times when I’ll be hungry, have a snack, but then at dinner be just as hungry as everyone else who did not eat a snack since lunch. And sometimes I’ve had a bigger lunch than them.

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“Is there something wrong with me? Am I just thinking of food too much? (possibly.) C’mon, Alison, you can’t be hungry right now. You shouldn’t be.”

Shouldn’t. The judgmental word that messes with my brain and results in me overcomplicating food even more.

When I start judging my hunger cues, I sometimes end up eating more than I usually would once mealtime comes, because I don’t want to feel snacky later when no one else feels snacky. I am tempted to restrict (on a much, much smaller scale than I did during my eating disorder) or “compensate”.

{Allow me to clearly say: I have thankfully come a long way from my eating disorder, and I believe that I am at a healthy place mentally and physically. However, I think I speak on behalf of many people who have experienced EDs when I say that there are occasionally residual struggles that never truly disappear.}

In realizing the harm of judging my own hunger cues, I have also come to realize that I do not have the right to judge others’ eating habits (of course, unless something was clearly concerning). I used to wonder why some of my friends weren’t as hungry during lunch in high school, and I would criticize them for not eating enough. In reality, I was insecure about my own eating habits, and I unfortunately took it out on others.

God has mercifully given me the strength to deal with the temptation of judgement of myself and others, and I have been able to trust my body’s hunger cues. I know what works for me. Some days it’s a lot of snacks, and some days it’s three square meals. Some days I eat every meal three hours later than “normal” meal times, and some days I have totally disorganized mealtimes.

Our bodies are smart cookies (or smart banana in my case 😉 ) that all work uniquely for each individual. Even then, the body works uniquely for a single individual on different days.

There’s no place for judgement.

I’d also like to reiterate here that I almost never show everything I eat throughout the day on the blog!

Alrighty, I’m done.

Hope you all have a beautiful day! Go easy on yourself.

So tell me:

Do you ever find yourself judging your own eating habits?

Do you like visual-motion/simulator rides?

What is one delicious thing you ate yesterday?