The Mess of Life


Greetings from NY! I figured I should write a blog post while I’m on spring break. It’s sad and strange that I don’t automatically think to write a blog post in my spare time anymore. This blog means so much to me, but I feel it slipping through the cracks (JK it slipped through the cracks, like, 6 months ago).

This blog has evolved as I have evolved as a person. I still have great interest in food and fitness, but there are simply (or rather, less simply) more things to which I need to direct my attention and energy in this season of life.

One of those things is academics. Things are still busy, but now that the great learning curve of my first graduate semester has passed, PT school has become a bit more exciting, and I have yet to approach the brink of despair (*overdramatized for effect*) as I did last semester. I also completed a 6-week, part-time clinical in a long term acute care hospital, which I loved (not just because I got to wear scrubs aka the work-acceptable pajamas). It’s all still hard work, but I’d be worried if it wasn’t so.

could be worse

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Academics is 50% of life. The other 50% is just this wild freakin’ ride that my heart and soul are on right now. It’s like one of those rickety wooden rollercoasters (actually my fave kind) that have superb thrill factor but could also snap and break at any moment.

There is only so much I am willing to share about this roller coaster of my life, but overall, I have learned a lot.

I’ve learned about what is too much for my heart to handle.

I’ve learned about what makes my heart truly joyful and at peace.

I’ve learned how to be honest with myself regarding both of those things.

I’ve learned that I make so many mistakes over and over again, despite having good intentions.

I’ve learned about my weaknesses and what I really need from others.

I’ve learned about my strengths and what I can give to others.

I’ve learned to find the good in others, but also to put down my foot when others are not good for me.

I’ve learned that it is better to find beauty in pain than to find pain in what seems beautiful on the surface.

I’ve learned to be okay with all of the above, because life is a MESS. A. Darn. Mess. That’s my word of the year so far, and I’m okay with that.

I’ve learned that God is here in this mess and that I don’t have to run away from it all. He never changes and reminds me always that He has never abandoned me and He never will. He is faithful, and He makes all things new.

And on top of all that/to change subject, my best friend is engaged (and she asked me to be her maid of honor AHHHH)!!!

Rachel visited NY for spring break earlier this week too! It was nice to spend time with the bride-to-be. Truly just having heart to heart conversations from morning ’til night.

I also co-directed the Catholic Center retreat this semester with my friend Austin, so that was a doozy. But more than anything, it was a wonderful and humbling experience. The theme was “beauty through humility and obedience,” which I suggested in the first place, but I didn’t realize how much I personally needed that message this semester until we were on retreat.

hearts that are His #retreat #totustuus

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Me: “What’s something we both like to do?” ➔ Austin: “Uhhh, work out?” ➔ Me: “Okay, we shall flex.”


the seniors ♥ 


Sarah, a source of peace and joy


sums up my friendship with Janice (so much love and appreciation for her)


the killer retreat team


“More tortuous than all else is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it? I, the LORD, alone probe the mind and test the heart…”

— Jeremiah 17: 9-10

^^^Too true.

Alive and well. Breathing and smiling. Failing and learning. Praying and growing.

My mess is minuscule compared to others’ messes, but it’s all one big Jackson Pollock painting — pretty cool in the end.

So tell me:

About the mess in your life.

Something new you did this past month!



Behind the Scenes #30: College Anticipations


Sharing my thoughts, fears, and excitements on Amanda’s blog!

College Thoughts…

1) …On saying goodbye to friends: Life is about to change in 4 days when I leave for college. A bunch of my closest friends have already left, and I can’t help but still feel that it’s not really happening. Either that, or I’ve just accepted this time of transition and I’m cool as a cucumber. Whatever it may be, my goodbyes with all my friends these past two days have been anything BUT emotional. We’re obviously going to miss each other so much, but we all know we’re going to be occupied with new friends and experiences, so it’s more sweet than bitter.


Said goodbye to these three beauties yesterday. They’re gonna kill it!

2) …On saying goodbye to family: I told my dad last night that I think I’ll be homesick, but I don’t think I’ll cry. He just silently smiled, which usually means he’s laughing at me on the inside. He’s right— I’m probably going to cry at some random time during the evening when I’m studying or trying to find some dried figs and Greek yogurt.

At least I’ll have Ben 10 minutes away from me, so we can chill!


If we’re not mauling each other, that is.

3) …On food: I’ve been spoiled silly with my mother’s epic home cooking, but I’ll still be pretty spoiled with the food choices at Boston University. After all, they gave me special healthy cookies when I went there once.

photo 1

I’m also taking initiative on the nut butter front, so #thatnutbutterlife (right, Lilly?) will still be rocking.


Three full jars + a container to bring some to the dining hall for breakfast 😀

4) …On dorming: I’m not too worried about much when it comes to living in a dorm (except for moving in and seeing if everything fits in there), and I’m actually pretty excited! I already know my roommate is awesome, and I’m looking forward to meeting more friends.

Actually, one thing that is on my mind: the showering situation. It’ll take some time getting used to the teeny showers, but I hope I manage well without hurting or embarrassing myself too badly. Number one thing is to not forget a towel/robe when I go to take a shower. “TowelRobeTowelRobeTowelRobe.”

5) …On academics, activities, etc.: I’m just going to play it by ear in terms of figuring out how to balance it all. If I try to plan too much right now, I might get frustrated if things don’t turn out just so. I just know that academics come first, and I hope to get involved in a few clubs and to stay active! Oh, and sleep. That will help.

6) …On making friends: Daliza and I were thinking last night: “How do you even make friends anymore?” Seriously, though! Whatever happens, I’m going to have to keep myself from being this person:



I hope to meet tons of people, but I know my close friends will fall into place eventually. Just let it rock.

7) …On blogging: Oh, beloved blogging. I’m afraid things will be changing quite a bit starting next week since time will be of the essence! I want to continue blogging without a doubt, but I know I will not be able to post as much or read as many blogs. As with everything else, I don’t want to plan my college blogging too much, but I’m hoping to share my moves and grooves semi-regularly while in a new environment!

8) …On taking photos of food: I’m unfazed by taking photos of my food in front of people now since I’m pretty open about my blog at this point. That being said, I’m not going to lug around DSLR camera for pretty food pictures in college (not that my pictures are all that fabulous now). iPhone or point-and-shoot photos are going to be the best I can do, but I’ll just take that as an opportunity to improve my iPhone photography and editing! 😉

❤️ my Asian mother. #coconut #stickyrice #mango

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One of my favorite iPhone food photos on my Instagram

Miscellaneous Thoughts

9) Moves yesterday included a jump rope warmup, Jess’ lean legs workout, and some pistol squats to Beyonce and Shakira. Shaky legs!

10) I’m going to make peach cobbler today and I’m PUMPED. It’s my favorite dessert ever, and I haven’t had it in maybe 4 years now. Holy moly, I can’t wait. Pray that I don’t mess something up, or else I’ll cry.

Hope you all have a fabulous day!

So tell me:

Any college advice?

If you’re going to college, what are you thinking about?

Which summer dessert do you want to make/have you made?