When will I be who I’m supposed to be?

pray.

In a time requiring a lot of patience and wishing I could just be out there saving the world in whatever way God wants me to do so, I have been praying about feeling good enough/not good enough for… whatever it is that I am hoping for right now — a job, a vocation, some cool opportunity to end all the evils in the world, I dunno.

Obviously I’m not the only one waiting for opportunities, and I am in no way complaining about my situation. But whether stuck in circumstances out of my control or just feeling “not good enough” for _____, something that I find myself thinking is: “When that thing starts, I’ll be who I’m supposed to be.”

But my new priest friend, Fr. Denis, said in his first homily ever that our first vocation is to holiness. It does not matter where we are in our state of life; our primary vocation is to holiness, and that in and of itself is very good. Holiness (i.e., love for God, love for neighbor, and finding ways to do both no matter what the circumstances are) gives purpose to the mundane, the interim, and the seemingly pointless and hopeless situations of life.

No title (doctor, PT, nun, wife, mother, etc.) can fully define who I am created to be, nor does it define who you are created to be. Today is a day to become the man or woman you are created to be, just by the way you live your life as it is in this moment.

eat.

I’ve been eating plums as my fruit of the week, and I’m rather enjoying the humble stone fruit. I don’t like them as much as peaches, but the plums I got from Trader Joe’s are still juicy and sweet.

move.

I did some fun BURPEES yesterday! It is so freeing to just move in whatever way I want to move each day, not following any strict training schedule. This is what has made fitness truly fun for me, allowing me to be consistent.

I did 10+ of each of the following types of burpees:

  • jumping lunge burpees
  • spiderman pushup burpees
  • neutral grip pull-up burpees
  • candlestick burpees
  • KB hopover burpees

For demos, check out my Instagram stories or the end of my “moves part 3” highlight if it has disappeared by the time you read this!

groove.

Check out this sweet and special gift that my brother and his girlfriend gave to me!

Peep the blog motto on there! I am so grateful. Thanks, Elaine and Ben! ♥︎

Also, my friends and are continuing virtual book club with The Devil’s Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea, which is a book about the devastation caused by U.S. border policy. Excited to learn more and delve into those challenging conversations.

Happy pre-Friday!

So tell me:

Have you been struggling at all with feelings of not being good enough?

Which fruits are you loving currently?

What is the most fun form of fitness for you right now?

7 thoughts on “When will I be who I’m supposed to be?

  1. Your priest friend sounds very wise! I’m only in undergrad but sometimes, competition and comparison with my peers can feel overwhelming. Especially thinking about med school and admissions and the MCAT! I find myself questioning if this is the plan that God has for me. But I’m never quite sure whether that’s my own doubt talking, or a legitimate leading of His Spirit.

    Anywho. I am finding great delight in juicy, ripe nectarines. And cherries! ALL OF THE STONE FRUITS!! Is it wrong to say that bananas now seem…boring?

    I’ve always preferred running to weights, but given the current situation, I’m thinking it might be time to find some workouts that I can adjust to my apartment. I’m so very grateful for blogs like yours for providing much needed spiritual encouragement/fitness inspiration/food envy during this time!

    • Fr. Denis is wise indeed! I am grateful for him.

      As for the questioning of God’s plan: I can definitely relate! What helps me is talking to someone else holy who I trust who can speak into the patterns of my prayer, and firstly just continuing to ask God for His guidance. I truly believe that if you seek, He will help you to find 🙂

      Oooo all this talk of stone fruits makes me want to make another peach cobbler! And I still have bananas every day, so I can’t say they’ve become boring to me yet lol

      I hope you stay well and find whatever fitness is fun and sustainable for you during this time! So grateful for your support as always, Ashley ♥︎

  2. I was in this exact situation at the end of last year, done with school and waiting for my career to come along… although I had no idea what it might be. I finally figured out that my career would never be my identity, and God brought an amazing opportunity my way. The waiting is never fun but it’s worth it ❤️

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