The Ways in Which I Still Struggle

Whoops. I did not mean to take a whole week off from blogging but I got a little lazy (and busy too, if I wanna give myself the benefit of the doubt).

Moves. I’ll just start with yesterday’s – fresh new week.

  • 3 rounds: 15 bicep curls, 10 push-up to renegade row, 12 Arnold presses
  • 20 min boxing

Booked. I made way too many plans this weekend, but it was a jolly good time. Sleepover with my friend Lauren, Thai food lunch with my friend Christina, dinner a la Trader Joe’s with Lauren and Elayne, spontaneous night of MarioKart and Uno, dim sum brunch with PT friends… ugh I love dim sum. And friends. In which order, no one will really know.

The end is near. What I really should be doing is focusing on the last assignments, odds, and ends of this last semester of classes. FOREVER (hopefully). Thanksgiving is coming and then it is pretty much home stretch, baby!

The ways in which I still struggle. A big theme of my life in 2019 has been the daily cross (as in, the cross the Lord tells us we must carry).

I am grateful to say that I don’t currently have very heavy crosses (e.g., family deaths, serious illness, social injustices inflicted upon me, etc.) to bear, but I have prayed a lot about the daily cross of my failures and also of just…my more negative tendencies in thought and deed.

I said a few weeks ago that these blog posts are for me to reflect, but perhaps they can also be for you, to know you’re not alone.

The ways in which I struggle:

  • Procrastination late at night
  • Poor sleep schedule
  • Overeating / emotional eating, followed by subtle squishing of my body fat, not feeling terrible, but still feeling “not ideal”
  • “Pendulum syndrome” is what I’ll call it. My mind often goes from, “I’ll do all the things, and I will do them well! Things are great!” To, “It’s not worth doing anything, I’m probably not cut out for this.” And it’s hard to find the in-between. Although this is an over-simplification of how my mind sometimes work, it’s true that I’m not very good at living in messy/unclear situations, and I’m not very good at moderation in pretty much anything. I’m an all-or-nothing perfectionist at heart (a blessing and a curse), so living with the discomfort of little failures or mishaps without losing hope and perseverance is something I have grown to learn a lot through these past few years and still continue to learn every day until I die.

I’m not beating myself up about these things, but I do think I can form better habits (which I learned in class just 10 minutes ago). Everything is a work in progress, and we shall keep on keeping on!

It’s a rainy Tuesday here, and I feel like I could sleep FOREVER. Hope you have a great one 🙂

So tell me:

What are some ways you struggle with negative tendencies of yours?

What did you do this weekend?

Have you ever had dim sum?

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