Thoughts are flooding my mind like:
[source]
…but first, let’s do some happy small talk!
The temperature in the mornings has been just lovely. A little chilly to some, but I love me some light sweater weather.
After breakfast, Mass, and a little morning nap (I start work at 12 on Mondays), I took my moves and grooves outside, naturally.
banana bread baked oatmeal with cinnamon raisin peanut butter + glass o’ {Lactaid} milk
THIS WAS HARD:
- 1 mile run
- 100 burpees
- 100 double unders
- 1 mile run
I couldn’t tell you which part was the hardest, but I can tell you that all I could think of on that last mile was, “Keep chugging away. Don’t stop.” Even though I probably could have walked faster than I was running at some points (thanks, hills).
Here’s me trying to smile at the end.
But I’m proud of myself! I hardly ever run, and I went ahead and did two miles of it in a workout.
Today I might go for a walk or do my favorite 18 minute plank workout. Either way, my legs need a break.
So last night…
I was still feeling funky and down, but I knew that it wasn’t just because of the weekend’s events. I couldn’t really pinpoint why I was feeling so unsettled and just… off.
part of yesterday’s lunch: salad with cherry tomatoes, dried cranberries, slivered almonds, and sliced smoked duck breast (from the farmers’ market)
Granted, I was pretty wiped out, and fatigue always brings me down. But Pop noticed at the dinner table that something was up.
“I’m fine.” ← Fortunately, Pop knows the true meaning of those words.
I don’t usually have qualms about telling my parents how I feel, but truthfully, I myself didn’t really know what was going on. However, when Pop entered my room (as I wiped a single tear from my eye), I just talked it out, discovering what exactly was bothering me.
The main thing is the internet. I just felt exhausted and more stressed with the internet lately— social media and even blogging. It’s not that I don’t enjoy keeping up with people and blogging (hello, here I am right now), but I feel a little bit enslaved to it at times.
I gotta check Instagram. *scrolls mindlessly and finds an account to “stalk”*
I need to do one thing on Facebook. *scrolls mindlessly and watches at least five of those Tasty videos*
I’ll take this time to read a couple blogs. *goes through the hundreds of unread blog posts*
I’ll check this person’s Snapchat story. *goes through everyone’s story* ← Okay, Snapchat made the stories continuous with one another, which is like a black hole.
I’ve been talking about social media’s toxicity in several different blog posts recently, but I still have not made too much of a change. I clicked on this article called “10 Things You May Not Know About Anxiety Disorder” via Arman’s Coffee Talk post yesterday (another thing: clicking on links), and one thing is that “People who suffer from gambling or internet addictions are more likely to also have anxiety disorder.”
Do I think I have a legit internet addiction? No. However, I think I could be heading towards one at this rate. Internet doesn’t interfere with my daily work life or anything, but once I don’t have responsibilities, I feel like I can’t get away from it. There’s always something to do/see/like/comment/post on my phone or laptop.
Pop offered some good advice about practical ways to combat this sub-internet-addiction. I also added some strategies myself:
- Unfollow people on Facebook and Instagram. I don’t need to be following every friend and every fitness junkie/foodie out there. Clean up the feed.
- Limit yourself to just “liking” things, without feeling like you need to comment.
- Read a select few blogs.
- Read actual books more (shoutout to school teachers).
- Before touching any piece of technology, make a list of what you intend to do when you’re on the internet. Stick to that list. Go in with intention.
This week is all about humility and self-reflection, ain’t it?
I just finished the best overnight oats I’ve had in a while
It’s not fun knowing that I have a disorder-prone mind. It’s not easy to share weakness. But acknowledging my weakness is one way that God helps me knock down my pride and build me up in a way that is more beautiful than before. And vulnerability is the best way to connect to others!
#BeMoreHuman ← that’s a Reebok hashtag, but it works here.
(p.s. Yesterday, I said that I would talk about body image stuff today, but that’s not on my heart right now, so I changed the topic. In short, just know that you are so much more than your outward beauty!!! LIFE is so much more than outward beauty.)
Go get ’em, friends.
Comment or don’t comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts, but you can also just shut down your computer/phone and go on with your day 🙂
Daily Moves and Grooves 
Oh my gosh, this totally parallels what I’ve been doing lately! Scrolling and scrolling on Instagram, clicking through all kinds of web tabs and feeling anxious when there’s no screen to look at, etc. I wouldn’t say I’m addicted just yet, but I will be taking action for it for sure. I’ll be turning off my phone at work, put it away when I’m driving/eating/completing another task and making sure I don’t sleep after looking at the Internet right away. And I’ll make sure that you help me keep accountable of this so I don’t forget! 🙂
Mm that’s so good, Cassie! We’ll work on this together 🙂
Love this post, lady! Social media can definitely be a huge source of anxiety for me, mainly when I start feeling like I need to keep up with it all. I think that’s a big part of why I randomly disappear from so many platforms periodically – to keep my sanity in tact 😆 And I feel like it’s harder for me to really get into it too because I grew up without it. Like I’ll use it for Spoons and blog purposes, but the personal stuff mostly stays personal.Your pops definitely has some great advice, though 🙂
YES for mental health breaks!! What good are we to others if we are not good to ourselves (at least for sanity purposes, lie you said!)?
I absolutely love this. I’m the same with mindlessly wasting time on the Internet, and I’ve found that I have to have a set list of blogs/to-do’s before I open anything up. I also try to have set times where I sit down and comment/like/whatever I’m going to do, too. If someone happens to post even 1 minute after I’ve checked their blog and I get an email about it… it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow when I check it again!
Social media can be super stressful for those of us with anxiety, but good management practices can help to cut down on that anxiety–and then there’s always the option of just taking a darn break, too, which I’ve been doing recently. 🙂
Waiting until the next day— that’s such a great thing (and difficult at first) to do, Claire. I definitely feel very impulsive with comments and notifications.
YES, be more human. This post resonates with me so much, because I was feeling so stressed about having to ‘read all these blogs’ and follow all the people and comment. I was going more towards doing it out of a strict sense of duty instead of love. And then the chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 that says, ‘If I give my body to be burned, but have not love I am nothing.’ WOW, that made me step back and really be intentional like your dad said. I can put more love into individual relationships. I’m not everywhere at once. God is sovereign. I don’t have to take care of every relationship, because God does. He gives me a few to maintain and look at, and if I have time, I can expand and do more, but we’re only human. And He is in control. You know what? You sharing these struggles reminds me of that so much more, and I am just so so so blessed and pricked by everything you share. ❤
Emily, thank you for always sharing the refreshing and amazing Word of God with me and with the world! ♥︎ Spending our time with Him over anyone else is essential to our relationships, for sure.
I think the entirety of the developed world is fighting an internet addiction, and I see it in myself. When it’s a 8 o’clock at night and my entire family isn’t talking to each other. We are all on the same room… on laptops. That’s wrong. I’ve been thinking about this a LOT and I’m ready for my time in Spain when I really get to take time off from it all. I really like your last point- I’m going to start doing that. Especially right now, I’m enrolled in two online courses but a task that could take an hour winds up taking much longer as I’m focused on other pointless websites.
I definitely get pretty sad when my whole family is together, but NOT together because we’re in our own worlds on our various devices. Going abroad will help a lot, I’m sure. Wishing you the best of luck in “unplugging”! 🙂
Such a good post, Alison! I understand that feeling of getting sucked into the Internet like a big black hole between blogging, social media, and then of course, all of the “productive” things I do on the Internet related to school, my calendar, etc. Yours and your dad’s advice are both great! Something that’s helped me is logging out of each of my social media apps after using them on my phone. I’ve gone from looking at FB & Insta 4+ times each day to every few days and I don’t miss it!
Yes! Logging off of the apps helps me a lot too! That’s so great that you were able to disconnect more by doing that 🙂
Amen x 200000000 + an extra 3.
I was talking with my friend the other day how we wished we were back in the days where we’d beg mum to use the house phone to make a call…..which then turned into dial up internet….then ADSL….then BOOM.
It’s interesting how anxiety can play a potential/backward role in it. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the solutions 🙂 You know my thoughts 🙂
Oh, the simple days. Like when the house phone actually RANG. No one calls the home phone (or even CALLS) anymore.
It’s amazing how addictive technology can be, especially as a blogger. When part of your “job” is connecting with others online, it can be hard to stop. Thanks for the inspiration. I actually had an off/bad day today and, while I’m not happy you felt the same way, it’s always good to not feel alone 😉
YES. It’s like, I love to do this, but I also feel like I have to do this. Hard to find a balance! Hope you find peace with it, Casey ♥︎
Yes yes yes!! I feel the same way- I am going to actually clean out my feed of how I am following. This and Maddy Moon inspired me to do so! I want to read more too. I need to make it a goal every single day I wake up in the morning!
Maddy Moon is the bomb! And yes, it’s a daily goal for sure.
You just hit it on the head for my exact current feelings. I now know the feeling I get when I’ve been spending too much time in front of a screen – and the anxiety I get when I feel like I’m not “keeping up” with all the blog relating communicating/writing/reading I want to do – its not good. But this time, instead of kind of ignoring that uncomfortable feeling I get telling me that I don’t want to spend time on my computer… I’m actually listening to it. I don’t want to go to my computer or phone every single moment I have free. So this week I’ve just been… not doing it. I’m learning that I just can’t do everything. I wish I could comment on all the blogs, but I can’t. So if my body is telling me it wants to read a real book, from now on I’m reading a real book. I hope you can let yourself do what you feel like doing in the moment, instead of what you feel like you “should.” Taking some time away can also get our passion back up again!
I have been in your situation before, its why I stopped using Facebook all-together. I knew it was a problem after I had realized I had opened 10 tabs in firefox and all of them were the Facebook home page. There is no shame in falling we just have to keep picking ourselves back up. If you need some one to talk to, I am awful when it comes to the internet so nothing you say will surprise me.
on a bit of a lighter note, 100 BURPEES :O girl you killin it!
hope you’re feeling a bit better 🙂
Haha thanks, girl! I am feeling better 🙂
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I really, really appreciated this post, and I have Julia to thank for sharing this link. I feel the same way about the Internet in general. While I do love reading blogs and writing my own, Instagram, etc…I hate feeling enslaved to it, and like it’s something I have to do. Instead, I’m trying to work on being much more intentional with how I spend my time. It’s hard because being intentional actually means dealing with real feelings and such, but definitely worth it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I’m excited that I found your blog through Julia!
Emotions are so hard to come to terms with sometimes, especially when we desensitize our lives with immediate gratification through social media. But you’re right— it’s worth it.
Thank you for your kind words, Caroline! 🙂