Feeling, Thinking, Knowing

There’s either cheese or yogurt on my backpack right now. Whichever one it is, I’m not surprised.

Last week, y’all.

First and foremost: The brokenness of our world resurfaced last week, most significantly with the Paris terrorist attacks. I’m sure many of you have also heard voices speaking up about other tragic world events that were just as horrific as the Paris attacks, such as the the bombings in Beirut. The bottom line is that there are a lot of injustices in the world—halfway across the world and in our own communities. We must show love. We must show compassion. We must pray for all.

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[source]

Personally, last week was hectic and…weird. In addition to the all the tragedies we learned about, there were a ton of yo-yo-ing emotions going on inside of me as a result of daily happenings.

Nothing seemed constant. Feeling on top of the world at one hour, feeling like a failure the next. Feeling independent one day, feeling dependent the next. The only thing that was constant was this cycle of feeling, thinking, and knowing.

I would feel a certain way.

I would think about what I should make of my feelings.

I would force myself to move on based on what I know.

Let’s look at some examples:

Feeling discouraged by my so-so grade in one of my classes. Thinking about how I might not get the GPA I want at the end of the semester. Knowing that the only thing I can do is work my butt off and study hard for my upcoming exams. There’s no point in sulking.

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haha, stress.

Feeling annoyed at a friend. Thinking about how I could have avoided this annoying situation. Knowing that I am incredibly blessed to have such loving friends who truly want me to be happy, even if it can come across as terribly irksome.

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Feeling mildly sad about boy life. Thinking about all the {insanely adorable} relationships emerging among my friends. Knowing that I only need to worry about being the right person and letting God do his thang. Also, I am forever thankful for my guy friends who make their gal friends feel valuable and loved.

Feeling “soft” and “pudgy”. Thinking about what it would require to shed some body fat — eating fewer calories, doing high intensity workouts more often, and possibly sabotaging my progress regarding my relationship with exercise. Knowing that it’s not. freaking. worth it. I feel stronger and more energetic in my body than ever, so #guatever.

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don’t hold back that peanut butter

Feeling lost, down, and empty. Thinking about what I need to do to be better, look better, feel better. Knowing that the only One who can make me whole is God. As our priest, Fr. Barnes (he has a blog!), said in his sermon yesterday [paraphrasing]: The only thing that is constant is God. He keeps His promises and His love never wavers.

I like that a lot.

Wishing you all a fantastic week ahead. American Thanksgiving is coming. AGHHHHHH. In the meantime, go have some buttered toast, because it a neglected delicacy.

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So tell me:

One thing you felt, thought, and knew last week.

Three things on schedule this week! Two tests, work, and an a cappella concert on Friday!

Do you like buttered toast?

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9 thoughts on “Feeling, Thinking, Knowing

  1. I had a crazy week of my emotions being all over the place too, and I was not a fan. I am hoping that my brain and my heart sort out their tiff and become friends again. I wish the same for you!

    Though you may be feeling soft and pudgy, you are a beautiful creature of the Lord. I know you “know” this, but you are certainly not thinking that way right now, and I just want to reinstate how marvelous in beauty you are. You have so much worth that goes beyond your physique, but I can relate to those sentiments. just know so many people have your back, Alison!

    Felt: excited over an awesome first date.
    Thought: I need to eat more fatty food
    Knew: I should be doing more for my gpa.

    I LOVE Buttered toast! Have a fabulous week, Alison! Lots of love ❤

  2. So many feelz! But all these trials are preparing you and know that God has awesome things for you in your future. Just ride out those feelings and keep remembering the truth! And you’re definately not alone. This past week has been filled with confusion and anxiety
    And just a lot of crappy feelings. Here’s to a new week!
    So crazy you mentioned buttered toast bc Saturday I had a my first buttered english muffin in years!!!! So simple so satisfying 👍🏼
    Love you girl and am sending you all my love

  3. I always love reading your posts! This one I felt like I specially connected to – knowing that we’re all human and have struggles, that God will guide us along our journeys 🙂

    In the past week…
    Feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work/tests we have until the end of the semester.
    Thinking about how to stay positive in all of this.
    Knowing that it’ll all work out somehow and that thanksgiving break is coming up; so ready to rejuvenate myself with family, food, and friends!
    Let’s crush this Physiology test!

    Three things this week: Ultimate Frisbee Charity Tournament, dinner with a friend I haven’t seen in awhile, test

    Do you like buttered toast? YES I DOOOOOO (but with smart balance butter hehe)

  4. Three things: visiting my grandma at the rehab center, cooking up a storm and saying GOODBYE to my Cali family (waaaa!!! I miss them already, and I haven’t even left yet!!! 😭).

    Not big on buttered toast…when I was little, I used to love it with butter + cinnamon sugar.

    I felt inadequate, thought about how many times I’d felt that way in the past and licked it, and knew that God would help me get through. So much truth in this post…thank you! 💙

  5. Please know that you are not alone in feeling this way – we all have times like this and I remember being at university and those moments being heightened even more!
    I remember looking at all my friends around me in these fun great relationships and wondering why that wasn’t me? Was I not good enough? And bam, one day I met David – and 10 years later (including 6 years of marriage) we are still strong and in more love than ever before! When it’s time it will be right 🙂

  6. I love that you went to the TRUTH of what you knew or each situation. ❤ God has done an awesome work in you Alison, and I've already watched you grow so much just in the past 6 or 7 months that I've known you. You are definitely not the only one who struggles, who has times of feeling down, annoyed, or struggling with body image. And I'm encouraged, myself, to remind myself of what I know, instead of what I'm feeling. <33

  7. Sending you tonnes of love, lady ❤ You're definitely not alone in dealing with the random rollercoaster of emotions. I actually had one of those weeks last week, aaaaaand I blame it all on hormones. So maybe that's just a sign that yours are trying to normalize? 😀 Either way, I find that during those times, all we can really do is ride the wave and go easy on ourselves. Hope this week has been better for you!

  8. It’s crazy because this past week seems to have been a very heightened emotional week for a lot of people I have talked to, myself included. Sending you love and prayers always!! ❤

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