Remember that cocktail of emotions that I was feeling right before leaving for Boston?
Well it has heightened, for better and for worse. I am filled with so much gratitude and joy seeing my friends and preparing for another year of learning, but for a few days I was also losing sleep over emotions like excitement, nervousness, anxiety, and fear. I know that’s normal for starting a new year of school, but it’s oddly intense. And I’m not even a freshman!
At first, I was just so excited to see everyone that I had to sorta numb my feelings or else I might have exploded with joy.
But for whatever reason, I was going through a phase where my sympathetic nervous system was just ON. My heart was beating uncomfortably quickly for a few days for no good reason, my stomach felt tight, and I was breathing from my chest more than from my belly (a sign that my body is stressed).
I didn’t know what was up, but prayer, movement, music, being with good friends, and big deeeeeep belly breaths from my diaphragm all helped. Also, I’m thinking back to my own tips on how I deal with anxious feelings.
(Talk about a way to make my parents feel GREAT.)
The real medicine this time around, however, was letting go of hypersensitivity to what others thought of me. I have no idea why, but I became so preoccupied with trying to impress people (who I know and love from last year). However, as soon as I remembered that I have one person— God— in my audience, I started feeling better.
In the words of Tori Kelly: “Take it or leave it, babe, I’m not gonna change. If you don’t understand I don’t need you anyway.” <— please listen.
Now that that’s off my chest. Hello, lovely folks ♥
Despite my very minor heart palpitations, this weekend was pretty darn awesome.
dorm breakfast feat. the breakfast trifecta
bodyweight exercises in the great outdoors of Boston
monster chicken, tomato, lettuce, avocado, sundried tomato, pesto pita wrap = lunch and dinner
some steep ($5…) pistachio and nocciola gelato for the Feast of St. Anthony celebration in North End
first dining hall meal! classic breakfast that I scarfed down because I had attend a meeting
first dining hall dessert! they did not fail with this delicious carrot cake
second dining hall dessert the night after — vegan apple cider oatmeal cookie mousse parfait — pretty luxurious and delicious
Lots of food. Some humans were involved too.
It was also a productive weekend, getting lots of tasks done before classes actually start.
including getting a head start on human physiology reading #nerd#geek#lame#sayittomyface
I genuinely hope each of you is doing well and that you have a wonderful week ahead! Today is my last Monday off before the grind begins woooooo.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”— James 1:2-4
So tell me:
Do you ever find yourself breathing from your chest more than usual?
Do you ever feel unusually sensitive to how others might perceive you?
What is your favorite kind of cake? Carrot cake all the way (WITH raisins).
What did you do this weekend?