I have concluded that video games/virtual worlds are not my cup o’ tea.
“Oh I’m supposed to follow the arrow!”
My brother and I took our cousins to Disney Quest— Disney’s multi-floor arcade and video game attraction— for a fun “kids” day while our parents dined at a fancy restaurant. It was super fun spending time with the dudes, but I can only stare at colorful lights and crazy pixels for so long (ironic because I can look at a computer screen for quite a long time…but that’s different from looking at crashing cars and flashing neon lights).
I was literally saying Hail Mary’s before going into one of those virtual roller coaster things that require you to go into a capsule, be strapped in, and stare at a virtual roller coaster on a screen while you’re being tossed around inside the capsule. Bleccchhhhh.
It’s no wonder that I was perfectly content just drawing Minnie Mouse at the “Animation Academy” lesson.
My cousin said she was a chubby Minnie. I call it baby Minnie.
Air hockey, giant Fruit Ninja, and Dance Dance Revolution were also pretty fun 🙂
We ended our night at Splitsville “Luxury Bowling” for dinner (even though we didn’t bowl). We shared fried calamari to start, and then I had the ahi tuna salad with Asian pear dressing. Tasty!
Earlier yesterday morning, I ate a nice and filling breakfast that consisted of butt-end toasts with sunflower seed butter and peanut butter; plain Greek yogurt with honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, and banana slices; and some mango.
I woke up at 8:30 after going to bed at 2:30 AM, so I actually went back to sleep for another hour after breakfast and some blog reading. When I re-awoke, I ate another banana and then tackled some moves. Yesterday was a 5 minute jump rope warmup, foam rolling, and this at-home chipper workout from Tina.
{via}
This is a GREAT workout. Challenging, quick, and no equipment required! However, I did use a 36# barbell for 50 of the squats and an abmat for the sit-ups for a little bit of an extra challenge. I also did jump lunges instead of alternating lunges. My quads were Jell-O.
Lunch followed immediately after! I ate some bites of my mom’s leftover seafood mofongo from Tuesday night, and then I made myself avocado toast and two-egg scramble with spinach and feta. I also ate a clementine after this— they’re sweet and juicy this time of year!
We ate outside because the weather was perfection. I expressed my love for this moment on Instagram 🙂
Now I want to put on my serious-ish face and talk to you about something. (Warning: some of the following content may be triggering to those struggling with eating disorders. Take care! ♥ )
Whenever I go on day-long outings with family and friends other than my immediate family, I tend to fall into the dreaded comparison trap when it comes to food (obviously not a fault of my family or friends whatsoever!). I’ve gotten over the comparison trap quite successfully in college, but new situations always seem to throw me right back into it.
For example, I love breakfast, so I’m going to eat a big and/or dense morning meal such as the one I ate yesterday. Then I’ll see that every other person is eating half a waffle with a glass of juice or just a bowl of cereal, and they’ll be completely satisfied. “Oh…”
[source]
This is not to say that there is anything wrong with small breakfasts if that’s your jazz!
It’s easier for me to brush this off because I know I tend to have bigger breakfasts than most of my friends, but that’s what works and that’s what I love. However, three hours later I might be hungry for a snack while no one else is.
There are also times when I’ll be hungry, have a snack, but then at dinner be just as hungry as everyone else who did not eat a snack since lunch. And sometimes I’ve had a bigger lunch than them.
[source]
“Is there something wrong with me? Am I just thinking of food too much? (possibly.) C’mon, Alison, you can’t be hungry right now. You shouldn’t be.”
Shouldn’t. The judgmental word that messes with my brain and results in me overcomplicating food even more.
When I start judging my hunger cues, I sometimes end up eating more than I usually would once mealtime comes, because I don’t want to feel snacky later when no one else feels snacky. I am tempted to restrict (on a much, much smaller scale than I did during my eating disorder) or “compensate”.
{Allow me to clearly say: I have thankfully come a long way from my eating disorder, and I believe that I am at a healthy place mentally and physically. However, I think I speak on behalf of many people who have experienced EDs when I say that there are occasionally residual struggles that never truly disappear.}
In realizing the harm of judging my own hunger cues, I have also come to realize that I do not have the right to judge others’ eating habits (of course, unless something was clearly concerning). I used to wonder why some of my friends weren’t as hungry during lunch in high school, and I would criticize them for not eating enough. In reality, I was insecure about my own eating habits, and I unfortunately took it out on others.
God has mercifully given me the strength to deal with the temptation of judgement of myself and others, and I have been able to trust my body’s hunger cues. I know what works for me. Some days it’s a lot of snacks, and some days it’s three square meals. Some days I eat every meal three hours later than “normal” meal times, and some days I have totally disorganized mealtimes.
Our bodies are smart cookies (or smart banana in my case 😉 ) that all work uniquely for each individual. Even then, the body works uniquely for a single individual on different days.
There’s no place for judgement.
I’d also like to reiterate here that I almost never show everything I eat throughout the day on the blog!
Alrighty, I’m done.
Hope you all have a beautiful day! Go easy on yourself.
So tell me:
Do you ever find yourself judging your own eating habits?
Do you like visual-motion/simulator rides?
What is one delicious thing you ate yesterday?
Daily Moves and Grooves 
Great article Alison! You are wise beyond your years. This is something I struggle with too. I often think I shouldn’t be eating what I’m eating or am wondering why I am hungry again. I know it wasn’t eating too much that originally made me gain so much weight but since I am overweight I feel like I have to justify everything I eat. I worry that other people are judging what I eat and saying,”well, no wonder she’s fat.” , then I get angry and think, “Well, fat people need to eat too!” but generally it is just me judging myself. We really are the hardest on ourselves and need to be better friends to ourselves. Treating our own habits and our own selves with the compassion and understanding that we show others is not an easy thing to do.
You’re doing great!
Lots of Love,
Aunt Gina ❤
Beautiful words from my beautiful aunt! Thank you ♥
Alison (isn’t that such a great name? 😉 ),
This post spoke volumes, and I want to thank you for writing it. I find myself being so hard on myself when I get the occasional hunger cue. It’s nice to remember that you are not the only one struggling with that same issue. By the way, your breakfasts look so GOOD! I love my big breakfasts in the morning, it’s what gets me through the day. Take such great care ❤
– Alison
Indeed, Alison! 🙂
Keep on doing what you do, girl. You know your body, and your body knows what it needs to do to stay healthy. The only thing we can do is listen and deliver!
It’s funny you bring it up, because I was thinking about this (in my own way) yesterday. I’ve been craving lighter meals for breakfast lately (things like fruit + spoonfuls of nut butter) instead of a heartier, denser, protein-packed bfast. And sometimes I wonder if I’m eating ‘the right thing’ or start over thinking, “OMG maybe I should eat 25g of protein right now otherwise I’ll be hungry soon!” And then I remember I’ll just eat again when I become hungry & make what I really want.
I also remind myself that the fact I even have the luxury of thinking about what I’d like to eat makes me seem so privileged & I should chill out.
That last statement—SUCH a great point. We are indeed incredibly blessed to be able to think about what we’d like to eat and when we’d like to eat it. Thank you for that. ♥
i have always been so judge mental of my hunger cues. I am SLOWLY starting to learn that I live a very active style and I should be hungry. I say just listen to what your body is telling you because it knows best!
It’s a constant struggle for a lot of people, including myself. Keep it up, Sean!
I have so many thoughts right now I dont know where to begin! First I completely relate and this is a big struggle for me. Often times I’ll isolate because I figure “I need to keep on my own (eating)schedule and not be swayed or influenced by others to restrict” but in reality It’s the worst possible attitude. I love you say to not only release judgement on our food but others others peoples food as well!
Everyone is truly different and unless we are in another persons body or they are in ours we really cannot judge. Seems like you are mastering this skill and im way proud and inspired of how far you have come. I’m saving this post as a reminder👍
And no stimulator rides for this girl! I get very queasy very easily 🙈
You’re so wonderful, Katie. I can relate to just wanting to be alone so that I can eat without feeling judged by others/judged by myself. But you’re right— that’s not the way things should be! Keep on doing what you do, girl. Love you! ♥
Great post! I typically snack a lot more than most people, and I have had people occasionally say something like “Wow, you’re always eating!” But to me, that’s one of the fun things about eating (mostly) healthy food- you get to eat lots of it! So their comments don’t typically bother me anymore.
I do eat a lot more often than my roommate, too, but I tryy not to compare our eating because I run lots of miles every day, while she doesn’t usually exercise. It IS hard not to compare how much I eat to other people, but I know we’re all different 🙂
I get those kinds of comments too, and sometimes I let them get to me more than other times. But you’re right— we know how active we are and how our bodies tend to function, so there’s no need to worry about it! You’re awesome, Liv!
the comparison trap is such an easy trap to fall into! it’s even tougher when someone makes a comment about your food choices.. seriously cannot stand it when people do that.
wonderful post as always, Alison! ❤
Plus, you probably are way for active than others around you. 70 burpees in that workout?! Holy cow haha.
oops, way more*
It was a lot of burpees for sure! I had to keep telling myself, “Ok, 60 left…50 left…40 left…” But I love burpees, so it was fun 🙂
I absolutely love this Alison. I don’t even think you need to have had a restrictive eating disordered past to feel this way- i have a post coming up on this concept but I think the way you appreciate yourself now VS even a year ago- amazing and inspiring.
Mhmm, great point. So many people feel this way whether they’ve had a past with an ED or not.
Thanks so much, buddy. Your blog has been a true source of empowerment for me!
I get this..I get you. I am 110% grateful for how far I’ve come myself; I don’t even attempt denying my cravings and ignoring hunger in out.of.the.question. Due to my heavy restrictive past, the feeling of being very hungry admittedly panics me. I accept it though and I guess its understandable – my body is functioning optimally, yet the sensation of hunger is associated negatively. Its getting calmer slowly but surely because I mean, I know I’m going to be feeding myself! I’m doing what works best for me when I feel “panicky”. And that’s to just eat..until satisfied. Whether we’re talking hearty breakfasts or mulitple snacks; I know full well that the moment I eat enough I’ll be able to carry on with my day without my mind stressing over when I’m going to eat. You’re doing a fab job taking care of yourself Ali 🙂 , do you!
Go you, Ms. J! I can relate to the uneasy feeling (besides the general discomfort) of being very hungry sometimes. It reminds me of the times when I would purposely make myself feel that way, so I do get worried and make sure I eat something asap.
You’re also doing a fabulous job, girl! Keep it up!
The feeling you’re describing is spot on for how I tend to feel so very often. Like during the first months of working at my current job. I swear I -never- saw my colleagues eat. They seemed to arrive having eaten breakfast at home and then worked, worked, worked until making their way home for lunch break around 1. After that back to work until 6 or later again with no food appearing. Me? Arriving at work, lugging a bag filled with food. At least one snack before lunch, then multiple between that and leaving in the evening. I felt really uncomfortable and definitely not ‘normal’. And then came Christmas time bringing along daily cookie platters, cakes, … – and my colleagues snacked on them all day.
Long story short: I’ve come to the point where I realize it’s about ME feeling happy, satisfied and my inner voice knows pretty well what I need. Yes, it’s probably more than what others need and more often, too, but hey, that’s my ‘normal’.
Oh and heck no, you wouldn’t be able convince me to sit down in one of those simulators. Once years ago, never again. Just thinking about that gives me the heebie-jeebies …
Yes, yes, yes. School or work settings are definitely places that can harbor the most comparison because you are so close to your colleagues all the time, and you’re all doing the same work. But our bodies are different our activities are different, so it’s awesome that you’ve realized that it’s not about anyone except you when it comes to fueling yourself. 🙂
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